16 Parents and Children Joss

In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver. 

This post will focus on the mannequin JOSS.

Joss is flexible and easy-going as a parent. He hates being controlled and isn't interested in controlling his children. He is emotionally reserved but likes to show off. He can be a hero, a jokester, or a reckless criminal. He wants his children to have a good time, but his high octane pursuits might not be fun for them. Joss ignores bad behavior. He can be just as bad as they are. Joss doesn’t do routine or chores. He admires physical prowess and encourages risk taking. He does not praise or offer loving affirmations. Joss is unconventional and doesn’t care if his children conform. He doesn’t offer his opinion and expects his children to police themselves and solve their own problems. He can administer discipline but he normally laughs at their shenanigans. He avoids confrontation until they violate a core value and he punishes with cutting criticism. Natural matches: Joss communicates best with Joss, Greer, Kelly, Blair, and Francis. He argues most with Taylor.

JOSS/WYNN

Wynn is an easy child. She seeks approval and needs a secure routine with clear consistent rules. She won’t get that with Joss. His inconsistent rules and cutting criticism will hurt her deeply and make her anxious. When stressed, Wynn suffers silently and Joss won’t notice. This is a pretty disastrous pairing for Wynn. He is likely to make her life turbulent and cut her in a thousand tiny ways for not being the brave outgoing child he likes hanging out with. Joss could easily become an absent parent who doesn’t understand this child and doesn’t seek them out for a relationship.

JOSS/FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. Joss will be a nightmare parent. Francis likes to show off his competence but it might not be in ways Joss respects. Francis may feel he never measures up to his inconsistent father and it can result in low self-esteem. Francis becomes more rigid the more chaotic life becomes. He will turn against Joss easily. Joss will dislike this judgmental kid. Francis can be an enforcer type. Joss could easily tip the scale for Francis to become a bully or the downfall of Joss’s criminal enterprise.

JOSS/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security, and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. He craves acceptance and is eager to please. Joss will not like the clinging. Nevada will feel rejected. Nevada becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks and Joss doesn’t believe in praise. Nevada does what is expected and follows the rules if they are fair and reasonable. Joss probably won’t be fair or reasonable. Nevada will argue with Joss over everything. He is likely to resent Joss’s inconsistency and turn against Joss. They could end up loathing each other. Nevada can become just as hard to control as Joss in the right circumstances. Nevada could be the weak link in Joss’s family, but one who can do the most damage.

JOSS/ARDEN

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting for most parents but Joss isn’t most parents. Arden grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities and Joss will provide plenty of opportunity. They could become best buddies. Arden likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. The two of them will likely make each more outrageous. Arden wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. He can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. The two can grow close over their various interests. Both are likely to be on the irresponsible side. Joss likely won’t give Arden the praise he needs. That could become a point of contention.

JOSS/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing. Joss being an absent, inattentive, or busy caregiver makes her feel lost. She needs a solid foundation from which to flit and Joss isn’t it. Blair resists change. She is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. Joss is off doing work, hobbies, or going on adventures. He won’t give Blair much of anything she needs. He won’t give her the affection or praise she needs. Joss will try to push her out of her comfort zone and she will resent him for it. Blair may be confused on the rare occasions Joss notices her. She won’t trust him and will probably get away from him as soon as possible. That partially depends on the other caregivers involved.

JOSS/ DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. She is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled and Joss is likely to encourage her to be more outrageous. Both of them thrive on adventure and trying new things. Joss will like this child. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Neither does Joss and he will support her subversiveness. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. If unchecked, and Joss won’t corral her, she becomes a very wild child. Dallas is likely to be a part of whatever game Joss has going. If he is a ganster, she is his lieutenant. Neither will be highly successful because they aren’t going to stick with anything long enough to gain prowess.

JOSS/ HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Joss is busy and aggressive and will make her anxious and fretful. Hadley can be agreeable and enthusiastic, but she isn’t the wild card Joss is. They share a desire to try everything once. Hadley quickly drops out and both move on to the next challenge. Dallas wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. Josh is only critical when a deep value has been violated. They should muddle along fairly well. Joss will enjoy Hadley’s willingness to try things. Since Hadley is easily led, Joss will be the one to push her and cheer her on. Hadley hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. Joss could make their lives turbulent. They could move frequently, forcing Hadley to keep starting over. They will probably muddle along together, though Hadley will not get the attention she needs. She may act out to try to get what she needs from Joss.

JOSS/ SHELBY

Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. Joss will be the opposite of what she needs. Joss tends to be on the move and will find ways to avoid being in charge of her. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Joss will find her boring. Shelby won’t join in his endeavors or fun. As Josh becomes absent, Shelby turns her pain inward. She is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. Shelby could end up being raised by a single parent, relative, or nanny, leaving her feeling abandoned and in need of a replacement parent figure.

JOSS/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. A Joss/Joss pairing is usually successful. They are likely to be found trying things and going on adventures together. Both like to take things apart to see how they work. They can both get lost in hobbies. Child Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Parent Joss will agree with his child and find the school to be the problem. Parent Joss could even encourage child Joss to leave school and learn from the school of life. They could push each other to bigger challenges. Both try harder to control their world if it spirals out of control. And given their temperaments, losing is control is a serious option. They can be lifelong buddies, never really doing harm. Or, they could be a parent child crime ring.

JOSS/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. He transplants easily. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. Joss is likely to provide the stimulation Kelly craves. Kelly doesn’t abide by rules or conform and neither does Joss. Kelly finds an ally in this parent. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs firm hand, not an iron fist. Joss isn’t a firm hand. They are both likely to make mistakes that can be life altering. Kelly learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Kelly could become more outrageous than Joss. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. They could be best buddies if more moderate. Or they could have a grudge match to the death in a test of wills.

JOSS/GREER

Greer is easy-going and likes to explore. He happily plays alone. He is curious and asks odd challenging questions. They might bond over this. Greer enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Joss likes tinkering himself. Whereas Greer likes to become proficient, Joss will lose interest and move on. Greer is not interested in being fussed over or the center of attention. Joss appreciates self-regulating Greer. Though, Greer can't handle chaos and needs routine and safety. Josh’s natural chaotic tendencies will make Greer feel unsafe. Joss won’t understand this quiet thinker. Greer won’t be up for Joss’s shenanigans. Joss could make Greer doubt himself and Greer takes criticism hard. Greer might take Joss’s attempts to pull him in to his world as criticism. There is potential for finding some common ground with this pairing. If you push them in opposite directions, they may break all bonds or at least have a lifetime of misunderstanding.

 JOSS/TAYLOR

Taylor needs peace and needs calm. Chaotic and unpredictable Joss makes her anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She will work hard to please adventurous Joss though he is scant with praise. It can make Taylor insecure. Taylor takes charge of playroom and siblings. She could either wrap Joss around her little finger or they could vie for dominance. Taylor is hurt by disapproval or if her efforts are rejected. That could easily happen with Joss. Taylor overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Joss is likely to push her to ever greater antics. If Joss is busy and distant, Taylor could easily spiral out of control. They could find themselves on the same side or be in opposition. Taylor will be a vindictive opponent.

JOSS/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. Cam might not consider chaotic busy Joss to be “good.” Joss will appreciate self-regulating Cam. A chaotic or highly dysfunctional family pushes Cam further inside his shell. He spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make adults squirm. Joss will be relieved that Cam doesn’t ask for much of him but he will find this quite thinker odd. The more outrageous Joss is, the more Cam will withdraw to protect. Joss could lose contact with Cam entirely. Cam develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. Cam would probably turn Joss in for breaking the law.

JOSS/MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Morgan can be a clown. Joss might enjoy this fun-loving kid. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. Joss and Morgan could end up thick as thieves. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan and Joss share this quality. They could explore the world or hobbies together. Morgan is outgoing. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. Morgan is irritated when he doesn't get his way. This pairing is likely to go well unless they find themselves on opposite sides. They could be lifelong best friends. But if one turns against the other, it will be an interesting battle of wit and will.

JOSS/LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed Joss, she screams until someone pays attention to her. Lee exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. Clashes are ahead for Joss and Lee. Lee can be stubbornly resistant to instructions. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. There could be a battle for dominance with these two. If Lee violates Joss’s core value, there could be war. Joss will be cutting and critical and Lee will plan his downfall.

JOSS/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. Busy, aggressive, and outgoing Joss will make her cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. She lives in a dream world most of the time. Joss may try dragging her kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. They are opposites. River has one or two friends. Her emotional skin is thin. The world is treacherous and trust is vital. Joss’s natural chaotic approach to life will make her feel more insecure and less trusting. River hates violence and discord. She needs peace and continuity. While she won’t openly go to war with Joss, she will quietly slip away and Joss won’t understand where he went wrong or how a child could be so different. She will resent that Joss didn’t provide her with a safe, nurturing home life. She will go looking for safety elsewhere.

Next week, we will introduce KELLY.

If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the Story Building Blocks website for free tools and forms.

You can follow new posts on this topic on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/storybuildingblocks or opt for an email through follow.it.

You can get more insight into character development by picking up a copy of  Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict or the fill-in the blank Build A Cast Workbook.

As always, if you find this information useful, hit the like button and share.

16 Parents and Children Shelby

In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver. 

This post will focus on the mannequin Shelby.

Shelby is nurturing, emotionally guarded, patient, devoted, and flexible. She enforces her values and wants respect. She is generous with loving affirmations. She may give too much freedom to a child who needs structure. She blames herself for bad behavior. She wants to be good cop. She fiercely defends children against outsiders and overlooks their indiscretions until she can't. If she can't connect with children, she may leave emotionally or physically. She cannot handle a wild child. She gets along best with Shelby, Blair, Greer, River, and Dallas. She argues most with Arden.

SHELBY/WYNN

Shelby is easy to please and seeks approval. Shelby is nurturing but perhaps not approving enough. Wynn needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. Shelby isn’t consistent and may not provide enough structure. Wynn hates being punished for something she didn’t do and Shelby blames herself for mistakes and that will be internalized too. Misunderstandings are likely here. Wynn will have to live with uncertainty and that will make her anxious. It’s not the worst pairing. They may muddle along together never understanding how they let the other one down.

SHELBY/FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. Shelby isn’t the most consistent parent. This could make Francis fretful, perhaps belligerent. He struggles with overly emotional people and may shrug off Shelby’s affectionate ways. Francis is not comfortable with new people or situations. He clings to close friends. Shelby is more social and may push him too far. Francis likes group events where he can show off his competence. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. If his competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. As long as Shelby shows interest and approval of Francis’s endeavors, it will be okay. However, Francis becomes rigid in the face of uncertainty and could be a bully. Shelby could find herself with a bully and blame herself for it. Francis may reject Shelby’s emotional overtures. It could be a dysfunctional dynamic.

SHELBY/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security, and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. Shelby is happy to lavish him with affection. He struggles to conform to new situations and Shelby’s lifestyle could prove too stressful. Nevada craves acceptance and is eager to please.

He does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable. He speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules. Shelby may not provide consistent rules. Nevada will turn against his parents if they let him down. He becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. Shelby won’t understand the disconnect. Doesn’t she love him enough? Why is he turning on her? 

SHELBY/ARDEN

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. Shelby is likely to provide the fun and frivolity. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. Shelby won’t understand why he pushes her away. She wants physical affection in return. Arden is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. He wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Shelby will be tolerant of his efforts as long as they don’t go against her personal preferences. Arden can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Shelby will blame herself for his Hijinks and will try to cover for him. Whether they end up appreciating each other or not is up for grabs. Depends on how far you push the level of intensity of their traits and how tumultuous Shelby makes their lives.

SHELBY/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. Shelby will give her the affection she needs. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, which could be a challenge for Shelby who can be inconsistent. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She rebels if restricted and resists change. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. Shelby is more social. She can be inconsistent, even tumultuous. Blair is likely to retreat as Shelby attempts to pull Blair into her world. They may not agree on values. Blair will be the intellectual loner and Shelby will be the outgoing activist devoted her causes. It could be a way to drive a wedge between them.

SHELBY/DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. Shelby will be hurt by her rejection. Dallas is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled. Shelby isn’t the best with boundaries or consistency. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. Both Dallas and Shelby can be inconsistent, leading them to blame each other when the ball gets dropped. If unchecked, Dallas becomes a very wild child. If too suppressed, she rebels. It could be a clash of the Titans if they have differences in values and opinions.

SHELBY/HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Shelby will give her that. Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Shelby won’t make her finish either. Their joint lack of follow-through can cause serious issues. Shelby will doubt herself but outwardly defend her child. Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. So if Hadley follows along with Shelby’s belief system, they could be mutually supportive. Hadley is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. If Hadley is led off to a different path than her parent expects, sparks could fly.

SHELBY/SHELBY

Child Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. Child Shelby cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. As a parent, Shelby tends to be affectionate if not consistent. Child Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Both parent and child turn their pain inward. She is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. A Shelby/Shelby combination could lead to a really tight friendship as long as they both believe in the same things.

SHELBY/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. He could prove a challenge to Shelby. Joss takes things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Shelby was never good with those things either and will make excuses for him. Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control. Shelby isn’t always consistent which could create turmoil in the relationship. Depending on the types of things that catch Joss’s fancy. Shelby expects her children to be like her and follow her example. Joss could very well go the complete opposite direction.

SHELBY/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. He transplants easily. Kelly tends to run rings around most parents and Shelby won’t be an exception. She will find him challenging because Kelly won't abide by rules or conform. He collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs firm hand, not an iron fist. Shelby doesn’t have a firm hand. He will most likely make her life difficult. She will blame herself for his behavior. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. He will run right over Shelby.

SHELBY/GREER

Greer is happy, easy going, likes to explore. He can't handle chaos and needs routine and safety. He plays happily alone and is a comfortable child for Shelby to raise. Greer asks odd challenging questions and enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Shelby might not appreciate being questioned. She hasn’t considered her positions too carefully or deeply. Greer is not interested in being fussed over or the center of attention and can be easily suffocated. Shelby can be too affectionate. She may want to push him to be more social and socially acceptable. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard. Shelby could go either way with Greer. Shelby can appreciate him as a quiet well-behaved, if slightly odd, child. Or Greer could challenge her belief systems too vigorously. She will not appreciate the debate.

SHELBY/TAYLOR

Taylor needs calm. Chaotic and unpredictable caregivers make her anxious. Shelby is affectionate but not always consistent. She could create some anxiety. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She wants to please Shelby. Shelby will capitalize on that. Taylor takes charge of the playroom and siblings. Taylor could question Shelby’s leadership and that will lead to friction. If Shelby expresses disapproval or rejects Taylor’s attempts to put herself forward, they could end up hurting each other. Taylor overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Shelby doesn’t like being bad cop and will force the other caregivers to take charge of that. This could make Taylor spiral out of control.

SHELBY/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. Shelby will be relieved that he is an easy child. Shelby is affectionate but not always consistent and chaos pushes Cam further into his shell. He spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions will make Shelby squirm. Luckily Cam is self regulating and responsible. He develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. This will be a point of contention for Shelby. She expects her children to accept what she believes as gospel. They are likely to exist in an atmosphere of quiet resentment as both withdraw to protect.

SHELBY/MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Since Shelby expects everything to happen on time and in the right way, she is easily frustrated. Why isn’t her child doing things “right?” Morgan doesn't do group activities and can be a clown. He will try to charm his way out of trouble. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He will get around Shelby easily. She isn’t good at being the firm parent. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan is outgoing. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. He is irritated when he doesn't get his way. Shelby will struggle with this child. He will be too much for her. She will blame herself for not being good enough and will resent his inability to fall in line. He might find her too dull or question everything she believes.

SHELBY/LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed caregivers, she screams until someone pays attention to her. She proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. If Shelby has different plans and goals for Lee, she is met with stubborn resistance. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers like Shelby, she scares them a little. There could be a battle for dominance with Shelby being the parent most likely to back down.

SHELBY/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. A busy, aggressive, or outgoing caregiver makes her cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. Shelby will give her affection and basic care. The problems crop up later. River lives in a dream world most of the time. Shelby would have to drag her kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River has one or two friends. Her emotional skin is thin. She sees the world as treacherous and trust is vital. The problems arise with River’s tendency to be drawn to belief systems of the mysterious, perhaps paranormal. Shelby is more grounded but very invested in her belief system. River will tune out Shelby and go her own way. River hates violence and discord. She needs peace and continuity, so she will be outwardly compliant but withdraw. Shelby could push River even further into whatever mystical or outrageous belief system she is drawn to. Shelby will be lulled into a false sense of victory. If River goes too far off the edge, Shelby isn’t the one to pull her back.

Next week, we will introduce JOSS.

If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the Story Building Blocks website for free tools and forms.

You can follow new posts on this topic on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/storybuildingblocks or opt for an email through follow.it.

You can get more insight into character development by picking up a copy of  Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict or the fill-in the blank Build A Cast Workbook.

As always, if you find this information useful, hit the like button and share.

16 Parents and Children Hadley

 In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver. 

This post will focus on the mannequin HADLEY.

Hadley is easy going and highly social. She wants every day to be fun. She alarms an introvert. She thrives on harmony and good will. She is warm and affectionate. She showers her children with gifts and loving words. She is hurt if her efforts aren’t appreciated. She encourages her children to try everything but won’t make them finish anything. She makes sure they have the coolest, latest stuff and grows despondent if she can’t afford it. She manages the basic needs at the last minute and just good enough. Routine chores are often forgotten. She takes care of problems as they crop up but becomes erratic when anxious. She needs a partner who can provide structure and discipline. She wants to be her child’s friend not an enforcer. She represses her displeasure until a core value is violated then she blows. She fiercely defends her family against outsiders, but doesn’t hold her children accountable for their behavior.

HADLEY/ WYNN

Wynn is easy to please and seeks approval. She needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. Hadley is affectionate and showers Wynn with gifts and loving words. She gives Wynn the calm haven she needs to thrive. Wynn could find Hadley too suffocating. Wynn can’t handle the inconsistent rules and the lack of boundaries. She will be frustrated that Hadley doesn’t take care of things when she needs her to. Wynn will suffer silently and become anxious and withdrawn. Hadley will keep trying to draw her out. They aren’t the worst pairing, but could push each other away indefinitely.

HADLEY/FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. Hadley isn’t going to provide those things. She can be flaky. He struggles with overly emotional people and Hadley could become suffocating. Francis clings to close friends whereas Hadley pushes him to be popular and outgoing. Francis likes group events where he can show off his competence and Hadley may provide those and be proud of his successes. If Francis’s competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. He becomes rigid in the face of uncertainty and could be a bully. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. Francis could easily become the parent in this pairing. He could spend his whole life having to deal with his parent’s incapacity to run her life efficiently. 

HADLEY/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. He craves acceptance and is eager to please. He does what he is expected to do. Hadley will give him the love and attention. Since he is self-disciplined, her lack of enforcement won’t matter much. Nevada follows the rules if fair and reasonable. He speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules. Hadley isn’t consistent with rules and punishments and Nevada will find that very unfair. He could turn against Hadley for letting him down. He becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. While Hadley is easy with an “I love you,” she might not understand what he needs. She will insist she loves him and she doesn’t understand why he isn’t feeling it. Nevada struggles to conform to new situations which Hadley enjoys. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. He could become rebellious or subversive and Hadley will be at a loss as to how to handle that.

HADLEY/ARDEN 

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. He is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. Hadley will likely provide him plenty of opportunities to learn and experience things. Arden isn’t a snuggler and will quickly leave her lap. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. He wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Hadley will be eager to show off her impressive child. Arden can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Hadley is poor at enforcing rules and wants to be his friend. Arden could grow out of control easily and Hadley won’t be able to put on the brakes. He could secretly despise her and manipulate her the rest of their lives.

HADLEY/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing which Hadley will provide. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, which seems contradictory to other people.Hadley isn’t the most stable base but will provide lots of opportunities to for Blair to flit. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. She makes special gifts. Hadley will be delighted with this easy child. She will try to push Blair to be more social. One issue that will cause trouble is if Hadley makes life too turbulent. Blair will rebel if restricted and resists change. It is one thing to be free to flit, another to not have a safety net. It could set the stage for a tragedy.

HADLEY/ DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. Hadley may find her a bit of a handful. Dallas is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled. Hadley isn’t good with boundaries and enforcing rules. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. Hadley won’t make her finish anything and will make excuses and this will be a problem with school. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. If unchecked, she becomes a very wild child. In that regard, Hadley could allow her to get out of control. They could escalate each other in negative ways. Dallas could easily control Hadley turning the dynamic around so that the child rules the roost. This could carry on through adulthood.

HADLEY/HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. A Hadley/Hadley paring would appear to be a good one. But since Parent Hadley isn’t consistent, she could make child Hadley anxious and fretful. Child Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Parent Hadley won’t make her finish anything. This can be a problem at school. Parent Hadley will make excuses for her child. Child Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. She is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. Depending on how turbulent Parent Hadley makes her own life, it will have an impact on Child Hadley. They could end up the best of friends, or have friction because they are too much alike, each blaming the other for not being enough.

HADLEY/ SHELBY

Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement.  She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when Hadley likes to show her off. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Hadley will be baffled by this child. She wants to be Shelby’s friend not the enforcer. Shelby isn’t outgoing or outlandish. Hadley can be overly social and pushy. She wants Shelby to project her idea of what a child should be. Shelby will be too withdrawn for her taste. Shelby won’t appreciate Hadley’s inability to take care of business either. It will make her feel very insecure. They could point the finger at each other every time something doesn’t get done. Shelby is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. She turns her pain inward. Hadley might not notice as her child drifts away. The relationship could be fairly benign or they could have a lifetime of misunderstandings and squabbling.

HADLEY/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” Hadley isn’t a disciplinarian. She might be too emotional for Joss. Joss grows bored when options are limited. Hadley will supply lots of options. She wants him to have a good time. Joss likes to takes things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Hadley will struggle with making Joss do what he needs to do. She will blame the school. She wants to be his pal. She wants Joss to love her unconditionally. Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control and Hadley could create a chaotic life. Joss could be a favorite child and she could over-indulge him. He will easily manipulate her, creating a doting but clueless parent and a daring, dangerous child.

HADLEY/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. He transplants easily. Hadley will probably find this child amusing but exhausting. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. Since Hadley wants to be his friend, she may participate in the party Kelly creates everywhere he goes. Kelly needs firm hand, not an iron fist. He won't abide by rules or conform and Hadley can’t enforce rules. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Kelly can wrap Hadley around his finger, making her think they are friends. Kelly could secretly despise her or magnify the mess Hadley can make out of their life. Kelly will make an opportunity out of anything. They could both be trouble.

HADLEY/GREER

Greer is happy, easygoing, and likes to explore. He prefers to play alone and asks odd, challenging questions. He enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Hadley is more outgoing and may try to push him out of his comfort zone. Greer isn’t interested in being fussed over or being the center of attention. Hadley could easily overwhelm him. Greer can't handle emotionally gooey parents and Hadley can be overly affectionate. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard. Since Greer really doesn’t value the same things as Handley they have lots of room for misunderstandings. Greer can't handle chaos. He needs routine and safety and Hadley isn’t good at those things. Their relationship could be full of mild frustration or grow to outright loathing depending on how outlandish Hadley is and how resentful Greer is. Greer may leave home and try to ignore her. She may keep butting in to get the attention and adoration she craves.

HADLEY/TAYLOR 

Taylor is peaceful and needs calm. Hadley’s unpredictability and lack of responsibility could make Taylor anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She wants Hadley to approve of her and like her. And Hadley may. Taylor takes charge of the playroom and siblings. She may have to take control of the household to get things done. Hadley might not appreciate the implied criticism and retaliate. Taylor will be hurt if her efforts aren’t appreciated. She overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. But Hadley is more likely to push her to go further. Hadley’s inability to set boundaries and her desire to be Taylor’s friend can allow Taylor to spiral out of control. It could be a very unhealthy dynamic with reversed roles and unspoken resentments on both sides. Taylor will blame Hadley for not noticing she was struggling and needed help. Hadley will deny anything is her fault and she did the best she could and should be appreciated for it all she sacrificed to give Taylor a good life.

HADLEY/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. For Hadley, he is an easy baby because he doesn’t really challenge her. She will be fondly affectionate. Cam might not return the emotion.  Cam develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. Hadley might find that insulting. She is in the right. He needs to conform. If Hadley is chaotic or highly dysfunctional, she will push Cam further inside his shell. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make adults squirm. Hadley wants him to lighten up and not be so serious. She wants a friend. Cam wants a secure nest and to be left alone to pursue his interests. Neither will get what they need. Cam is self-regulating and responsible, so isn’t likely to cause many problems. However, Hadley’s pushing will make Cam further withdraw. They won’t be enemies necessarily, but they won’t be buddies either. Cam could even intimidate Hadley because he is so much more efficient and responsible than she is.

HADLEY/ MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Hadley will take that all in stride. She will be affectionate and not terribly controlling. Rules are suggestion. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He is irritated when he doesn’t get his way. He could easily wrap Hadley around his finger. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan is outgoing and can be a clown. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. Hadley will encourage his social life. She will encourage him to appreciate the finer things in life. Morgan could easily manipulate Hadley, on the one hand becoming her favorite child and on the other getting away with murder while she isn’t paying attention. But both will eventually find out there are consequences.

HADLEY/ LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby and proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She screams until Hadley pays attention to her. Hadley is free with her affections but isn’t so good at making sure Lee has everything she needs. Lee knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. Hadley's different plans and goals for Lee are met with stubborn resistance. Hadley is more interested in being Lee’s friend which will probably earn her Lee’s contempt. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. Lee is likely to be the queen bee in their home and how neurotic Hadley is will determine the tension level. Hadley could just let Lee do her thing as long as she isn’t causing Hadley too many problems. It’s not a given they could be best friends, at most uneasy allies. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers, she scares them a little. Hadley may find Lee more than she can handle and respond by flitting off to do her own thing. The distance between them could grow until their relationship snaps. Or Lee can become intolerant of Hadley’s lack of follow-through and commitment and turn on her.

HADLEY/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. Hadley will be affectionate and glad that River doesn’t require much. River needs peace and quiet to thrive and Hadley might be too high octane for her. River lives in a dream world most of the time. Hadley will have to drag River kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River prefers to have one or two friends and won’t be happy trying to live up to Hadley’s social expectations. River’s emotional skin is thin and Hadley’s attempts to mold her into her own image will leave River with anxiety and low self-esteem. River sees the world as naturally treacherous. Hadley will do little to alleviate her fears. River hates violence and discord. She needs peace and continuity. River won’t understand Hadley’s attempts to be best friends. They aren’t really that compatible. Hadley will continue to try to pull River into her orbit and River will balk. They will probably never really understand each other. It could be a low drama relationship with quiet tensions. It depends on how erratic Hadley is and how much damage she does to River’s emotional well-being.

Next week, we will introduce SHELBY.

If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the Story Building Blocks website for free tools and forms.

You can follow new posts on this topic on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/storybuildingblocks or opt for an email through follow.it.

You can get more insight into character development by picking up a copy of  Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict or the fill-in the blank Build A Cast Workbook.

As always, if you find this information useful, hit the like button and share.

16 Parents and Children Dallas

In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver.

This post will focus on the mannequin DALLAS.

Dallas is highly social and throws lavish parties. She has a constant need for stimulation that frightens an introvert. She is affectionate, generous with praise, and “I love you”,” but is inconsistent. She will allow her children to try everything but won’t make them finish anything. Her effusiveness embarrasses a reserved child. She wants everything to be perfect. She makes last minute changes to the plans and schedules. She is terrible at enforcing rules. She crosses the line to be liked and wants to be her children’s friend, not their drill instructor. She relies on her partner to play bad cop. She hates conflict and takes criticism personally. She is passive aggressive when anxious. She is more interesting in blaming than fixing. Dallas is naturally drawn to River, Shelby, and Taylor. Her opposite is Francis.

DALLAS/WYNN

Dallas is easy to please and seeks approval. She needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. Dallas is the opposite of what when needs. Dallas can’t handle suffocating attention or inconsistent rules. She hates being punished for something she didn't do. If stressed, she suffers silently. Dallas will try to push Wynn past her comfort zone. Dallas isn’t a disciplinarian which could leave Wynn feeling insecure. Dallas’s passive aggressiveness could become abusive. Wynn is likely to disappear into anxiety and depression, feeling like she could never live up to Dallas’s expectations. While Wynn isn't a problem child, she isn't anything like Dallas either. They won't have much in common.

DALLAS/ FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. Dallas is a nightmare for him. Francis clings to close friends. He struggles with overly emotional people. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. He likes group events where he can show off his competence. Dallas will enjoy showing him off and putting him in the spotlight.  If his competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. Dallas is going to push him in uncomfortable ways. Francis will become rigid and withdrawn. He could turn into a bully, finding ways to subvert and punish Dallas for not being what he needs. He could easily turn against her entirely and cut her from his life for disappointing him. Dallas will be hurt by his turning against her.

DALLAS/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. He craves acceptance and is eager to please. Dallas’s attention may be too much and her inconsistency will make him clingy. He struggles to conform to new situations and Dallas thrives on change. Nevada does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable and speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules and Dallas doesn’t believe in rules. She sets no clear expectations. Nevada becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. Dallas’s praise isn’t consistent. It doesn’t fit the actions, leaving Nevada confused. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. Nevada could become a self-regulating child that simply works apart from Dallas to have the life he needs. Depends on his other caregivers. Nevada is likely to turn against Dallas for not being flaky and unreliable. He could disapprove of her his entire life and she will be hurt by his criticism.

DALLAS/ARDEN 

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. He is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. Dallas will provide the exciting environment he needs to thrive. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting to most parents but not Dallas. They could press each other into outrageous behavior. Arden wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. He can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Dallas is a good match for Arden. She will like showing him off, her good boy. Both thrive on change and stimulation. Dallas will try to be his best buddy and that can lead to Arden getting away with too much, until the law catches up. They would be a perfect parent/child crime duo.  

 DALLAS/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing. Dallas being inattentive and busy makes  feel lost. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, and Dallas provides quicksand. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. Dallas won’t understand this dreamy loner and will attempt to push her past her comfort zone. Blair will resent her for it. Blair is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. She makes special gifts. Dallas may appreciate them, or not, depends on the day. Blair rebels if restricted and resists change and Dallas thrives on change. Dallas has the potential to be extremely damaging to Blair. Blair could either withdraw and become depressed or become so angry at being let down that she leaves home and doesn’t look back.

DALLAS/ DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. She is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled. Parent Dallas sees rules as suggestions and doesn’t enforce them anyway. Child Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Parent and child Dallas could vie for dominance in the home. It could become a game of who gets away with more and paybacks. Child Dallas’s attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Parent Dallas won’t mind that and will make excuses for her child. Child Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to and Parent Dallas is just as bad. She can’t take care of her own stuff. Parent Dallas has a child just like her and it could go two ways. They could appreciate and drive each other to even more outrageous behavior or both spiral into mutual self-destruction or at least a life of co-dependence.

DALLAS/ HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Dallas will make her anxious and fretful. Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. So does Dallas, so nothing may ever get done be it homework or housework. Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. Dallas isn’t intentionally controlling but she could carelessly demean Hadley. Hadley is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. She may come to resent Dallas’s need for change and desire to shake things up. Hadley will likely recover and manage the changes. On the downside, Hadley might feel a little lost and look for guidance outside the home. On the upside they could muddle along together, never really achieving much. 

DALLAS/ SHELBY

Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. Dallas provides the opposite. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. Dallas won't understand her. Why is she such a bore? Shelby hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Dallas is likely to criticize her often. Shelby turns her pain inward and Dallas probably won’t notice. As Dallas goes about her whirlwind ways, Shelby will keep retreating. She could retreat from the home or retreat from life. She won't tolerate Dallas's expectations or interference after she leaves home. Dallas could prove to be a problem parent Shelby’s whole life.

DALLAS/ JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” Dallas is horrible at making rules and is inconsistent with punishments. He grows bored when options are limited and Dallas supplies lots of outlets. Joss likes to take things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Dallas will blame the school and teachers for his bad grades and poor behavior. Josh could spiral out of control since Dallas isn’t there to ground him. The two of them could negatively influence one another. Joss could resent Dallas for being lacking as a parent. He won’t hesitate to let her know it. They could have a lifetime of recriminations and blame with nothing ever being resolved.

DALLAS/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. Dallas isn't consistent. Kelly transplants easily. Dallas will appreciate this about her child. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. He won't abide by rules or conform. Dallas doesn’t like rules or conformity either, so they will likely feed each other that way. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs a firm hand, not an iron fist and Dallas is neither. She may indulge Kelly too far. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and becomes a bully. He will likely run rings around Dallas and find her an easy target. Dallas will never hold him accountable. Kelly is likely to secretly, or openly, despise her, a dynamic that will last their whole lives. Dallas could easily be an enabling parent who never holds Kelly accountable.

DALLAS/GREER

Greer is happy and easygoing, and likes to explore. He prefers to play alone and can't handle chaos. He needs routine and safety, which Dallas doesn’t provide. Greer asks odd challenging questions and enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Dallas won’t understand this. She will try to push him to do more, make friends, go places. Greer isn’t interested in being fussed over or the center of attention. He is easily suffocated and can't handle emotionally gooey parents. Dallas is play, fun, energizing, and just the opposite of what he wants. Greer may start to doubt himself and take her criticism of him hard. He will never feel he can please Dallas. This could seriously harm his self-esteem. Alternatively, he could decide she isn’t worth his time and turn away from her entirely. They aren't likely to end up with a close relationship.

DALLAS/TAYLOR

Taylor needs peace and calm. Dallas being chaotic and unpredictable makes her anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She will try really hard to please Dallas, who may or may not notice. Taylor takes charge of playroom and siblings. She may take charge of the home since Dallas isn’t likely to. Taylor is hurt if she senses disapproval or if her efforts are rejected. Dallas isn’t likely to appreciate Taylor’s attempts to create order. Taylor can overextend herself by trying to play with everyone. Dallas won’t be the one to rein her in. Taylor could end up burned out early trying to do too much at home and at school. Dallas is likely to push Taylor to spiral out of control. They could become horribly entangled if Dallas is seriously out of control as a parent, irresponsible with money, or involved with chemicals or alcohol. Taylor would feel responsible for Dallas. They could be codependent forever. It will take outside influence to convince Taylor she isn’t the one who has to fix everything. Dallas may always need fixing or really resent that Taylor thinks she needs fixing.

DALLAS/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. Dallas being chaotic or highly dysfunctional could push him further inside his shell. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make most adults squirm. He develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. Dallas might find him funny and agree that they should just throw convention out the window. Cam, luckily, is self-regulating and responsible. One of them has to be. Cam withdraws to protect. Dallas is likely to be too inconsistent for Cam. As Cam withdraws, she might try to pull him out of his shell even harder. They are likely to misunderstand each other the rest of their lives. The dynamic could cause a permanent split.

DALLAS/ MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Luckily, Dallas doesn’t. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He could easily run rings around Dallas. She could encourage him to be outrageous. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. Dallas will likely support him in those endeavors. Morgan’s penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan is outgoing. Morgan doesn’t like group activities and if pressed wants to orchestrate things, assign roles, and oversee the progress. He becomes irritated when he doesn't get his way. He can be a clown. Dallas will likely cheer him on as he creates chaos. She isn’t in charge so Morgan will likely become the dominant personality. Morgan may soon find Dallas completely inconsequential. They aren’t likely to clash too much. Rather they are both on different trajectories that may or may not meet up from time to time.

DALLAS/ LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby. She will scream until Dallas pays attention to her. She proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. Luckily Dallas is likely to go along with whatever Lee wants. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. Dallas won't know what to make of her focused, ambition child. Lee is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. She will probably end up running Dallas as well. Lee will take over and make life what she wants it to be and Dallas is just a tool in her arsenal. Lee will despise Dallas’s inconsistency. Their dynamic is likely to reverse with Lee the parent and Dallas the child. Lee could be the successful child and Dallas will always be the inferior parent who can't get her act together.

DALLAS/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. Dallas is the opposite of what she needs. River lives in a dream world most of the time. Dallas will attempt to drag her kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River one or two friends and her emotional skin is thin. She sees the world as treacherous and trust is vital. She won’t be able to trust Dallas. River hates violence and discord. Dallas's inconsistency and irresponsibility will make River feel very unsafe. River will withdraw to protect herself from the chaos. These two will probably never understand one another. Dallas could push River into depression and anxiety. River could leave home and never look back. She could be at risk of Dallas intruding into her life and Dallas will be completely unaware of the problems she creates. They are opposites in their approach to life.

Next week, we will introduce HADLEY.

If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the

Story Building Blocks website for free tools and forms.

You can follow new posts on this topic on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/storybuildingblocks or opt for an email through follow.it.

You can get more insight into character development by picking up a copy of 

Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict or the fill-in the blank Build A Cast Workbook.

As always, if you find this information useful, hit the like button and share.

16 Parents and Children Blair

 In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver.

This post will focus on the mannequin BLAIR.

As a parent Blair wants to be adored and admired by her family but she is emotionally reserved.  She doesn’t offer praise but needs to hear it. This dichotomy sets them all up for failure. She rarely gets the adoration and praise she so desperately needs and her children will never know to give her the things she can’t give herself. She provides a well-tended and comfortable home. She is great with babies and small children. She is easy-going and has realistic expectations. She likes to make things special for those she loves. However, Blair lives in the moment. She isn’t structured and changes her mind at the last minute which is tough for kids who need stability and structure. She gently guides and suggests but doesn’t boss around so can easily be ignored. She has low social needs but tries to make things fun. She takes her children to parks and has pets. She feels overly responsible for making everyone happy. If someone is having a bad day, it is somehow her fault. She takes criticism and conflict personally. Her unmet needs and poor communication adds to her passive aggressiveness when stressed.  She is naturally drawn to Blair, Joss, Shelby, Hadley, and Wynn. Her opposite is Lee.

BLAIR/WYNN

As a child, a Wynn is easy to please and seeks approval. She prefers clear consistent rules and needs a secure routine. Blair won’t provide them. Blair’s inconsistency will add to Wynn’s stress. Wynn does not like being punished for something she didn’t do and in Blair’s attempts to smooth things over and not focus on who did what, Wynn will rebel at being lumped in with other misbehaving children. It does matter to her who did what. When stressed, child Wynn suffers silently and like Blair will withhold negative feelings until they erupt. Wynn may very well feel the like adult in this relationship. She definitely won't give Blair the adoration she craves. Wynn will go through life feeling like she can't make Blair happy because Blair never praises her.

BLAIR/FRANCIS

As a child Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule which Blair doesn’t provide. He struggles with overly emotional people and Blair will not get the appreciation and adoration she needs. Francis is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. He isn’t comfortable with new people and situations and clings to close friends. Blair will support him in this. Francis enjoys situations where he can show off his competence. If belittled, he sinks into low self-esteem. He can become rigid in the face of uncertainty and can become a bully. Blair’s lack of focus and inability to be an enforcer will have a hard time keeping Francis in line. If she attempts to redirect him and he resents her for it, they could form a rift that can’t be healed due to misunderstanding.

BLAIR/NEVADA 

Nevada needs structure, security, and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. Blair won’t give him the cocoon he needs. Nevada becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. Blair also wants praise but doesn’t dole it out. Nevada craves acceptance and is eager to please. He does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable. Nevada struggles to conform to new situations, so as long as his parents keep his life calm, he is fine. Blair’s last minute changes and inconsistency in rules can make Nevada a wild child. He is furious when other people break the rules. Blair will likely betray him in that way. Nevada will turn against his parents if he perceives that they let him down. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated and that can create a war that Blair won’t know how to solve.

BLAIR/ARDEN

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. Blair will provide a stimulating environment for him to experiment in. Arden He is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. He can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Blair might find him too much of a handful. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. He won’t appreciate Blair’s personal attention. Arden wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Blair might appreciate his determination but may not like his methods. Blair will have a hard time corralling Arden. He in turn won’t appreciate her like she needs. They aren’t the worst pairing, but there is potential for misunderstandings. In some ways they are just alike.

BLAIR/BLAIR

Child Blair needs love and nurturing. Absent, inattentive, or busy caregivers make her feel lost. Parent Blair will provide a relatively safe home, but she isn’t consistent. Neither of them are which can cause friction. Child Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit and while Parent Blair usually provides a calm home, it won’t be a predicable one. They could end up the best of friends with Parent Blair having unique insight into her flighty child. However, child Blair needs her parent to focus on her, which probably won’t happen. Both want adoration and appreciation they don’t know how to give and may go a whole lifetime without ever giving each other the very things they both desperately need. Sometimes being too much alike is a problem.

BLAIR/DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. She can be a loose cannon and will try anything. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Even though Blair herself is inconsistent and changeable, they will end up fighting about a lot of things. Dallas needs to be corralled and Blair might not be strong enough to do it. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. She hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. Blair will not appreciate it if Dallas goes off the rails or veers too far from her expectations. Blair will likely go the wrong way about trying to rein Dallas in. That will result in Dallas becoming a wild child who pushes her parent just to get a reaction. Blair will not feel appreciated or adored. Both withhold if their needs aren’t met. It could be a stormy relationship.

BLAIR/HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Busy or aggressive parents make her anxious and fretful. In that regard, Blair is the perfect parent. Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Blair will either appreciate that about her or not like seeing herself mirrored in Hadley and criticize her. Hadley shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. So when Blair attempts to direct her, Hadley will rebel. Both need to be admired. Neither knows how to ask for what they need. It could go either way with these two. They could learn to appreciate each other of have a lifetime of misunderstanding.

BLAIR/SHELBY

Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. Blair could be a comforting presence, except for the times she isn’t where she needs to be or forgets important days or events. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. She turns her pain inward. Neither knows how to ask for the adoration they both secretly crave. It could go either way here too. Both Blair and Shelby suppress their needs until they blow, so a conflagration could occur. They could hurt each other without realizing it. Shelby is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner, but so can Blair. That could cause a further rift or could be a point of connection. 

BLAIR/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. Joss could run rings around Blair since she isn’t a natural authoritarian. Blair’s inconsistency can make Joss anxious. Joss likes to take things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. He will not give Blair the adoration she craves. Not out of malice but out of a lack of awareness. Joss offers no ill will. He just isn’t tuned in. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Blair will defend him to the school authorities until he is expelled. Blair might become more erratic and Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control. They could have a very stormy relationship blurred by misunderstanding. Joss could easily manipulate Blair until he leaves home, never to return.

BLAIR/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. Blair is bad at maintaining a consistent schedule and so is Kelly. He transplants easily. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. He won't abide by rules or conform. He will challenge Blair from day one and make her life chaotic. They could feed on each other, creating a death spiral of mutual destruction. Blair isn’t a good disciplinarian and Kelly would ignore her anyway. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He wants his celebrations to be lavish. Blair will never do enough for him. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs firm hand, not an iron fist. He can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Blair won’t know what to do with this wild child. If she is too self-involved, he will easily run roughshod over her. He definitely won’t appreciate her, unless he realizes that is a manipulation tool to get what he wants. If he figures out that all he needs to do is act adoring, he will get whatever he wants from Blair. 

BLAIR/GREER

Greer is a happy, easy going child who likes to explore and plays happily alone. He needs routine and safety and Blair supplies the safety but not the routine. He asks odd challenging questions and enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Blair might not understand her child, but since he isn’t causing her problems, she will be fondly tolerant. He can’t handle chaos and hates being fussed over or the center of attention. Blair isn’t likely to push him to be either. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard, but Blair isn’t overly critical. They should muddle along fairly well together even if they have nothing in common. Blair won’t get the adoration she craves and Greer might not get the appreciation for his competence. He may be more of an adult than Blair. He could easily become the one to take over household management.

BLAIR/TAYLOR

Taylor needs peace and calm. Chaotic and unpredictable caregivers like Blair make her anxious. If Blair is absent or busy, it allows Taylor to spiral out of control. Blair’s inconsistency will make Taylor anxious and when Blair fails to do what a parent is expected to do, she will embarrass her child. In return, Taylor won’t adore her. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. Taylor will take charge of her siblings and the playroom. She may take charge of Blair. Taylor is hurt if she senses disapproval or if her efforts are rejected. Both Blair and Taylor need to be appreciated. They can hurt or heal each other in that regard. Taylor overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Blair is more likely to ignore her and let Taylor spiral out of control. Misunderstandings are a given.

BLAIR/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. If Blair is chaotic or highly dysfunctional, Cam will retreat further inside his shell. Blair’s inconsistency will make him anxious. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make Blair uncomfortable. She wants him to loosen up and just have fun. Luckily, Cam is self-regulating and responsible. He develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. He may end up raising himself. Cam withdraws to protect and Blair won’t feel the love. They could be circling each other at an arm’s distance their whole lives, never really understanding each other. 

BLAIR/MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Blair is more happy go lucky and unfocused, so this won’t bother her. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He may run circles around Blair. He likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Blair may enjoy his boy wonder act or resent it. Morgan is outgoing. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. Morgan is irritated when he doesn't get his way. He may critique his parents and won’t give Blair the adoration she craves. Morgan doesn’t like group activities but can be a clown in social situations. He is likely to take apart his toys or utilize them in interesting ways. Blair isn’t overly social herself, so is unlikely to overwhelm him in that way. Both could end up skipping events they are expected to attend. This relationship could go either way. Blair and Morgan could drive each other crazy or they could muddle along in a very unconventional fashion. 

BLAIR/LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed caregivers, she screams until someone pays attention to her. She proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver and Blair is not the most attentive. Blair might find this child too much of a handful. Lee knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. If Blair has different plans and goals for Lee, she is met with stubborn resistance. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. Her mother will be largely inconsequential. Blair definitely won’t feel adored. Lee could triangulate her parents and become her other parents' darling, seeing Blair as competition. Lee is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. Blair isn’t enough of a disciplinarian to corral Lee. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers, she scares them a little. She scares Blair a lot. Blair simply won’t know how this child is her child. A lifetime of misunderstandings is a given.

BLAIR/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. If Blair is busy, she will makes River cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive and Blair isn’t the most peaceful parent. She is inconsistent so River will sink further into the dream world she lives in most of the time. Blair is likely to make River feel adrift. River has one or two friends. Her emotional skin is thin and any criticism lowers her self-esteem. If she does not rise to Blair’s expectations, she may become depressed. River naturally sees the world as treacherous and trust is vital. She hates violence and discord and needs peace and continuity. Blair’s inconsistency will make River anxious. Blair may never understand her odd child, but will glad that she is at least quiet and doesn’t demand much of her time. River could easily feel abandoned. Blair may not know what to do with her changeling but would not intentionally try to hurt her, though River is easily hurt. Blair isn’t likely to earn the adoration she needs as a parent. 

Next week, we will introduce DALLAS.

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