In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.
Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.
The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver.
This post will focus on the mannequin BLAIR.
As a parent Blair wants to be adored and admired by her family but she is emotionally reserved. She doesn’t offer praise but needs to hear it. This dichotomy sets them all up for failure. She rarely gets the adoration and praise she so desperately needs and her children will never know to give her the things she can’t give herself. She provides a well-tended and comfortable home. She is great with babies and small children. She is easy-going and has realistic expectations. She likes to make things special for those she loves. However, Blair lives in the moment. She isn’t structured and changes her mind at the last minute which is tough for kids who need stability and structure. She gently guides and suggests but doesn’t boss around so can easily be ignored. She has low social needs but tries to make things fun. She takes her children to parks and has pets. She feels overly responsible for making everyone happy. If someone is having a bad day, it is somehow her fault. She takes criticism and conflict personally. Her unmet needs and poor communication adds to her passive aggressiveness when stressed. She is naturally drawn to Blair, Joss, Shelby, Hadley, and Wynn. Her opposite is Lee.
BLAIR/WYNN
As a child, a Wynn is easy to please and seeks approval. She prefers clear consistent rules and needs a secure routine. Blair won’t provide them. Blair’s inconsistency will add to Wynn’s stress. Wynn does not like being punished for something she didn’t do and in Blair’s attempts to smooth things over and not focus on who did what, Wynn will rebel at being lumped in with other misbehaving children. It does matter to her who did what. When stressed, child Wynn suffers silently and like Blair will withhold negative feelings until they erupt. Wynn may very well feel the like adult in this relationship. She definitely won't give Blair the adoration she craves. Wynn will go through life feeling like she can't make Blair happy because Blair never praises her.
BLAIR/FRANCIS
As a child Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule which Blair doesn’t provide. He struggles with overly emotional people and Blair will not get the appreciation and adoration she needs. Francis is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. He isn’t comfortable with new people and situations and clings to close friends. Blair will support him in this. Francis enjoys situations where he can show off his competence. If belittled, he sinks into low self-esteem. He can become rigid in the face of uncertainty and can become a bully. Blair’s lack of focus and inability to be an enforcer will have a hard time keeping Francis in line. If she attempts to redirect him and he resents her for it, they could form a rift that can’t be healed due to misunderstanding.
BLAIR/NEVADA
Nevada needs structure, security, and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. Blair won’t give him the cocoon he needs. Nevada becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. Blair also wants praise but doesn’t dole it out. Nevada craves acceptance and is eager to please. He does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable. Nevada struggles to conform to new situations, so as long as his parents keep his life calm, he is fine. Blair’s last minute changes and inconsistency in rules can make Nevada a wild child. He is furious when other people break the rules. Blair will likely betray him in that way. Nevada will turn against his parents if he perceives that they let him down. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated and that can create a war that Blair won’t know how to solve.
BLAIR/ARDEN
Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. Blair will provide a stimulating environment for him to experiment in. Arden He is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. He can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Blair might find him too much of a handful. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. He won’t appreciate Blair’s personal attention. Arden wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Blair might appreciate his determination but may not like his methods. Blair will have a hard time corralling Arden. He in turn won’t appreciate her like she needs. They aren’t the worst pairing, but there is potential for misunderstandings. In some ways they are just alike.
BLAIR/BLAIR
Child Blair needs love and nurturing. Absent, inattentive, or busy caregivers make her feel lost. Parent Blair will provide a relatively safe home, but she isn’t consistent. Neither of them are which can cause friction. Child Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit and while Parent Blair usually provides a calm home, it won’t be a predicable one. They could end up the best of friends with Parent Blair having unique insight into her flighty child. However, child Blair needs her parent to focus on her, which probably won’t happen. Both want adoration and appreciation they don’t know how to give and may go a whole lifetime without ever giving each other the very things they both desperately need. Sometimes being too much alike is a problem.
BLAIR/DALLAS
Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. She can be a loose cannon and will try anything. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Even though Blair herself is inconsistent and changeable, they will end up fighting about a lot of things. Dallas needs to be corralled and Blair might not be strong enough to do it. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. She hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. Blair will not appreciate it if Dallas goes off the rails or veers too far from her expectations. Blair will likely go the wrong way about trying to rein Dallas in. That will result in Dallas becoming a wild child who pushes her parent just to get a reaction. Blair will not feel appreciated or adored. Both withhold if their needs aren’t met. It could be a stormy relationship.
BLAIR/HADLEY
Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Busy or aggressive parents make her anxious and fretful. In that regard, Blair is the perfect parent. Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Blair will either appreciate that about her or not like seeing herself mirrored in Hadley and criticize her. Hadley shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. So when Blair attempts to direct her, Hadley will rebel. Both need to be admired. Neither knows how to ask for what they need. It could go either way with these two. They could learn to appreciate each other of have a lifetime of misunderstanding.
BLAIR/SHELBY
Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. Blair could be a comforting presence, except for the times she isn’t where she needs to be or forgets important days or events. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. She turns her pain inward. Neither knows how to ask for the adoration they both secretly crave. It could go either way here too. Both Blair and Shelby suppress their needs until they blow, so a conflagration could occur. They could hurt each other without realizing it. Shelby is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner, but so can Blair. That could cause a further rift or could be a point of connection.
BLAIR/JOSS
Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. Joss could run rings around Blair since she isn’t a natural authoritarian. Blair’s inconsistency can make Joss anxious. Joss likes to take things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. He will not give Blair the adoration she craves. Not out of malice but out of a lack of awareness. Joss offers no ill will. He just isn’t tuned in. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Blair will defend him to the school authorities until he is expelled. Blair might become more erratic and Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control. They could have a very stormy relationship blurred by misunderstanding. Joss could easily manipulate Blair until he leaves home, never to return.
BLAIR/KELLY
Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. Blair is bad at maintaining a consistent schedule and so is Kelly. He transplants easily. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. He won't abide by rules or conform. He will challenge Blair from day one and make her life chaotic. They could feed on each other, creating a death spiral of mutual destruction. Blair isn’t a good disciplinarian and Kelly would ignore her anyway. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He wants his celebrations to be lavish. Blair will never do enough for him. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs firm hand, not an iron fist. He can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Blair won’t know what to do with this wild child. If she is too self-involved, he will easily run roughshod over her. He definitely won’t appreciate her, unless he realizes that is a manipulation tool to get what he wants. If he figures out that all he needs to do is act adoring, he will get whatever he wants from Blair.
BLAIR/GREER
Greer is a happy, easy going child who likes to explore and plays happily alone. He needs routine and safety and Blair supplies the safety but not the routine. He asks odd challenging questions and enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Blair might not understand her child, but since he isn’t causing her problems, she will be fondly tolerant. He can’t handle chaos and hates being fussed over or the center of attention. Blair isn’t likely to push him to be either. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard, but Blair isn’t overly critical. They should muddle along fairly well together even if they have nothing in common. Blair won’t get the adoration she craves and Greer might not get the appreciation for his competence. He may be more of an adult than Blair. He could easily become the one to take over household management.
BLAIR/TAYLOR
Taylor needs peace and calm. Chaotic and unpredictable caregivers like Blair make her anxious. If Blair is absent or busy, it allows Taylor to spiral out of control. Blair’s inconsistency will make Taylor anxious and when Blair fails to do what a parent is expected to do, she will embarrass her child. In return, Taylor won’t adore her. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. Taylor will take charge of her siblings and the playroom. She may take charge of Blair. Taylor is hurt if she senses disapproval or if her efforts are rejected. Both Blair and Taylor need to be appreciated. They can hurt or heal each other in that regard. Taylor overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Blair is more likely to ignore her and let Taylor spiral out of control. Misunderstandings are a given.
BLAIR/CAM
Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. If Blair is chaotic or highly dysfunctional, Cam will retreat further inside his shell. Blair’s inconsistency will make him anxious. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make Blair uncomfortable. She wants him to loosen up and just have fun. Luckily, Cam is self-regulating and responsible. He develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. He may end up raising himself. Cam withdraws to protect and Blair won’t feel the love. They could be circling each other at an arm’s distance their whole lives, never really understanding each other.
BLAIR/MORGAN
Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Blair is more happy go lucky and unfocused, so this won’t bother her. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He may run circles around Blair. He likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Blair may enjoy his boy wonder act or resent it. Morgan is outgoing. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. Morgan is irritated when he doesn't get his way. He may critique his parents and won’t give Blair the adoration she craves. Morgan doesn’t like group activities but can be a clown in social situations. He is likely to take apart his toys or utilize them in interesting ways. Blair isn’t overly social herself, so is unlikely to overwhelm him in that way. Both could end up skipping events they are expected to attend. This relationship could go either way. Blair and Morgan could drive each other crazy or they could muddle along in a very unconventional fashion.
BLAIR/LEE
Lee is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed caregivers, she screams until someone pays attention to her. She proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver and Blair is not the most attentive. Blair might find this child too much of a handful. Lee knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. If Blair has different plans and goals for Lee, she is met with stubborn resistance. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. Her mother will be largely inconsequential. Blair definitely won’t feel adored. Lee could triangulate her parents and become her other parents' darling, seeing Blair as competition. Lee is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. Blair isn’t enough of a disciplinarian to corral Lee. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers, she scares them a little. She scares Blair a lot. Blair simply won’t know how this child is her child. A lifetime of misunderstandings is a given.
BLAIR/RIVER
River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. If Blair is busy, she will makes River cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive and Blair isn’t the most peaceful parent. She is inconsistent so River will sink further into the dream world she lives in most of the time. Blair is likely to make River feel adrift. River has one or two friends. Her emotional skin is thin and any criticism lowers her self-esteem. If she does not rise to Blair’s expectations, she may become depressed. River naturally sees the world as treacherous and trust is vital. She hates violence and discord and needs peace and continuity. Blair’s inconsistency will make River anxious. Blair may never understand her odd child, but will glad that she is at least quiet and doesn’t demand much of her time. River could easily feel abandoned. Blair may not know what to do with her changeling but would not intentionally try to hurt her, though River is easily hurt. Blair isn’t likely to earn the adoration she needs as a parent.
Next week, we will introduce DALLAS.
If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the
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