Family
dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your
characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this
insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a
big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian
futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family
can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a
good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of
family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did
they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many
opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You
can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic
based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you
can make them benevolent or malevolent.
The
sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she.
The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family,
or other primary caregiver.
This post will focus on the mannequin Nevada.
Nevada’s currency is appreciation. He craves loving affirmations for working hard and providing. Nevada is committed, stable, orderly, and planned. He takes care of the practical needs. He is warm, affection, and social. He demands respect. He expects good behavior and is critical of “deviant” behavior. He is humiliated if his children reflect badly on him. He takes criticism and disobedience as a personal attack. He cares more about who was responsible for things than healing the situation. He sets clear boundaries but has trouble being the enforcer. He makes excuses for his children’s behavior to outsiders. He is highly critical but won’t tolerate outside criticism. He avoids conflict until he can’t. He punishes through manipulation and guilt. Nevada is most compatible with Arden, Dallas, and Wynn. He has the most trouble with Greer.
NEVADA/WYNN
As a child, a Wynn is easy to please and seeks approval. Nevada’s punishments of manipulation and guilt will make her anxious. She prefers clear consistent rules. She needs a secure routine but can’t handle suffocating attention. Nevada provides that environment. Wynn does not like being punished for something she didn’t do and they could have a problem if Nevada does so. Wynn will be hurt and angry if she is lumped in with other misbehaving children. Wynn is pretty self-sufficient. Both suffer silently and withhold negative feelings until they erupt. The two could misunderstand each other for a lifetime until a catalyst releases their emotions.
NEVADA/FRANCIS
As
a child Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule.
Nevada provides that security. Francis struggles with overly emotional people
and Nevada isn’t mushy. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play and
Nevada will appreciate that about him. Francis isn’t comfortable with new
people and situations and clings to close friends. This could be a problem
since Nevada is social. He may want Francis to participate in things he isn’t
interested in. Francis enjoys situations where he can show off his competence
and Nevada will appreciate that. If
belittled, Francis sinks into low self-esteem. He can become rigid in the face
of uncertainty and can become a bully. Nevada will insist he couldn’t possibly
be a bully and the other person is mistaken. This could escalate fast.
NEVADA/NEVADA
Parent
and child Nevada need structure, security, and personal attention. They get
along well this way. Child Nevada craves acceptance and is eager to please. He
does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable. He
speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules.
So in that regard, they are highly compatible. If they let each other down, or
make a mistake, they will turn on each other. Both become willfully obstinate
if violated and that can create a war. Nevada struggles to conform to new
situations, so as long as his parents keep his life calm, he is fine. If they
are forced to move around for work etc. he can turn into a problem child.
NEVADA/ARDEN
Arden
is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and
change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. He is
curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. He
can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. He will drive Nevada crazy. Arden isn’t a
snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. He won’t just
behave and be still and follow Nevada’s directions. The more Nevada tries to
control him, the more Arden will push the boundaries. Nevada will appreciate
that Arden wants to impress and earn those trophies and badges. He wants his
children to excel. Nevada might not appreciate the way Arden goes about it.
When Arden steps out of line or embarrasses him, Nevada will be harsh.
NEVADA/BLAIR
Blair
needs love and nurturing. Absent, inattentive or busy caregivers make her feel
lost. Nevada may not give her the personalized attention she needs. Nevada will
provide the solid foundation Blair needs to flit, but won’t appreciate her
flitting. Arden is pleasant, kind, and nurturing toward others. She makes
special gifts which isn’t Nevada’s currency. He just wants his hard work
acknowledged. Nevada will not give her the things Arden needs to feel loved and
Arden might not appreciate Nevada’s dedication to work. Arden is quiet and
plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly
sensitive, a daydreamer. Nevada won’t understand her. Arden will rebel against
his restrictions.
NEVADA/DALLAS
Dallas
is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers.
She isn’t a cuddler. She is dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. Her
attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. She
will drive Nevada quite mad. Dallas needs to be corralled and Nevada’s methods
to suppress her can become unhealthy. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or
in school. She hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She
forgets to do what she is supposed to. Her inconsistency will frustrate Nevada.
The more Nevada tries to bring her in line, the more Dallas rebels.
NEVADA/HADLEY
Hadley
is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Nevada will be too
busy for that. Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try
everything once but quickly drops it. Nevada won’t understand why she quits
everything. He won’t appreciate her need to move on to a new challenge. Dallas
wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face
of criticism and feels everything is criticism. Nevada’s parenting style feels
like criticism and in return Nevada won’t feel appreciated. Dallas is easily
led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. These
two will likely have a lifetime of misunderstandings.
NEVADA/SHELBY
Shelby
is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and
consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her
cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show
her off. Nevada offers a stable, structured environment but may try to push
Shelby past her comfort level. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys,
or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates
teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. She turns her pain
inward. They hurt each other without realizing it. Shelby is reserved around
new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. Nevada won’t
understand her loner status. She may prove an embarrassment to him. The more
Nevada pushes, the more Shelby retreats.
NEVADA/JOSS
Joss
is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and
concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around
it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. Nevada and Joss might
find a way to muddle along together. Nevada might even appreciate Joss’s
derring-do. Joss likes to take things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t
tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. He offers no ill will,
he just isn’t tuned in. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He
gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Nevada will defend
him at school but at home will be angry that Joss is embarrassing him and not
falling in line. Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of
control. Nevada provides a stable structure, so only life causing turbulence is
likely to affect them both. If Nevada is too critical, Joss may simple leave
and not come back to visit.
NEVADA/KELLY
Kelly
is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. Nevada won’t get his consistent
schedule. Kelly transplants easily. He
can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get
it. He won't abide by rules or conform. He will challenge Nevada from day one.
The more Nevada attempts to suppress Kelly, the more outrageous he grows. Kelly
collects friends and needs to be on the move. He likes everything larger than
life and will likely embarrass Nevada with his shenanigans. He is a ringleader
of mischief. He needs firm hand, not an iron fist. He can be self-destructive
if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Nevada
will defend his bully son in public, but punish him in private. Kelly
definitely won’t appreciate Nevada, unless Kelly realizes it is a manipulation
tool to get what he wants. Nevada and Kelly will never understand each other.
Kelly is a freewheeling force of nature and Nevada is a by the book
traditionalist. It won’t make for a healthy relationship.
NEVADA/GREER
Greer
is a happy, easy going child who likes to explore and plays happily alone. He needs
routine and safety and Nevada supplies it. He asks odd challenging questions
and enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Nevada won’t understand
this aspect of Greer, but will appreciate that he follows the rules. Greer
can’t handle chaos and hates being fussed over or the center of attention. Nevada’s
attempts to push Greer into things that make him proud will make Greer unhappy.
Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard. Nevada’s criticism of Greer for
being too introverted and absorbed by projects with cause Greer to withdraw
further. They likely won’t have anything in common. It could be a peaceful detente
or an unhealthy spiral of criticism and withdrawal.
NEVADA/TAYLOR
Taylor
needs peace and calm. Chaotic and unpredictable caregivers make her anxious.
Overprotective parents suffocate her. If Nevada is absent or busy, she will
spiral out of control. Nevada is stable and provides the calm Taylor needs.
Both are friendly and value harmony. Pleasing others makes them happy. They are
like each other in that regard. Taylor will take charge of her siblings and the
playroom. Taylor is hurt if she senses disapproval or if her efforts are
rejected. Nevada’s criticism would fuel a fire. Taylor overextends herself by
trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Nevada could do this. When
he goes too far with the restrictions, misunderstandings are a given.
NEVADA/CAM
Cam
is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he
needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He
expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and
friends. A chaotic or highly dysfunctional family pushes him further inside his
shell. Nevada provides consistent rules and stability. Nevada won’t understand Cam’s
need for solitude to daydream and think. The more Nevada tries to push Cam into
things, the more Cam will withdraw and become resentful. Cam doesn’t care what
other people think and Nevada may be embarrassed by his odd child. Nevada won’t
tolerate Cam’s need to question things and ask probing questions. Cam is self-regulating and responsible. He
develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe.
That may be a problem for traditional Nevada who needs his kids to be
mainstream and follow his beliefs and expectations of behavior. They could be
circling each other at an arm’s distance their whole lives, never really
understanding each other.
Morgan
is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do
them all a little differently. Nevada expects everything to happen on time and
in the right way. He will be frustrated and make Morgan anxious. Morgan has a
lively questioning mind. He is likely to take apart his toys or utilize them in
interesting ways.
He
takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures.
He may run circles around Nevada. He likes creative projects and follows his
unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident
early on. Nevada may not appreciate his experiments. Morgan is outgoing. He
likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. He is
irritated when he doesn't get his way. Morgan will question Nevada and resent
Nevada’s need to control everything. Morgan doesn’t like group activities but
can be a clown in social situations. He may embarrass Nevada in public. If
Morgan colors within the lines, they may muddle along without overt clashes. The
more Morgan deviates from expectations, the higher the conflict.
NEVADA/LEE
Lee
is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed caregivers, she
screams until someone pays attention to her. She proves exhausting to Nevada.
Lee knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants
and does not want. If Nevada has different plans and goals for Lee, he is met
with stubborn resistance. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in.
She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it.
Her father will be largely inconsequential. Lee could triangulate her parents
and become Nevada’s darling, seeing the other parent as competition. There is a
high chance of triangulation. Lee is a leader on the playground and becomes the
enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee.
Nevada might respect that as long as Lee stays within his lines. Nevada will
defend Lee when she is criticized by the school and other parents and makes
excuses, after all Lee is all about excellence. In private, Nevada might try to
tone her down or rein her in. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the
perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers,
she scares them a little. Nevada will never have an easy day with Lee.
NEVADA/RIVER
River
is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. A busy, aggressive, or
outgoing caregiver makes her cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. She
lives in a dream world most of the time. Nevada’s stability and routine will be
comforting to River. If Nevada attempts to drag her to play groups or to the
playground, River will go kicking and screaming. River has one or two friends.
Her emotional skin is thin and any criticism lowers her self-esteem. If she
does not rise to Nevada’s expectations, she may become depressed. River
naturally sees the world as treacherous and trust is vital. She hates violence
and discord and needs peace and continuity. Nevada’s calm approach to life can
provide River with a safe haven. Nevada won’t understand River’s diversion from
what he considers normal whatever form River’s sensitivity takes. They may
diverge on politics, religions, relationships, or traditions. The more critical
Nevada becomes, the River withdraws. Nevada will protect his odd child from
others, but at home will try to make her conform. River is easily hurt and
Nevada’s criticism and efforts to coerce her may cause irreparable damage.
Next week, we will introduce ARDEN.
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