In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.
Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.
The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver.
This post will focus on the mannequin HADLEY.
Hadley is easy going and highly social. She wants every day to be fun. She alarms an introvert. She thrives on harmony and good will. She is warm and affectionate. She showers her children with gifts and loving words. She is hurt if her efforts aren’t appreciated. She encourages her children to try everything but won’t make them finish anything. She makes sure they have the coolest, latest stuff and grows despondent if she can’t afford it. She manages the basic needs at the last minute and just good enough. Routine chores are often forgotten. She takes care of problems as they crop up but becomes erratic when anxious. She needs a partner who can provide structure and discipline. She wants to be her child’s friend not an enforcer. She represses her displeasure until a core value is violated then she blows. She fiercely defends her family against outsiders, but doesn’t hold her children accountable for their behavior.
HADLEY/ WYNN
Wynn is easy to please and seeks approval. She needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. Hadley is affectionate and showers Wynn with gifts and loving words. She gives Wynn the calm haven she needs to thrive. Wynn could find Hadley too suffocating. Wynn can’t handle the inconsistent rules and the lack of boundaries. She will be frustrated that Hadley doesn’t take care of things when she needs her to. Wynn will suffer silently and become anxious and withdrawn. Hadley will keep trying to draw her out. They aren’t the worst pairing, but could push each other away indefinitely.
HADLEY/FRANCIS
Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. Hadley isn’t going to provide those things. She can be flaky. He struggles with overly emotional people and Hadley could become suffocating. Francis clings to close friends whereas Hadley pushes him to be popular and outgoing. Francis likes group events where he can show off his competence and Hadley may provide those and be proud of his successes. If Francis’s competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. He becomes rigid in the face of uncertainty and could be a bully. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. Francis could easily become the parent in this pairing. He could spend his whole life having to deal with his parent’s incapacity to run her life efficiently.
HADLEY/NEVADA
Nevada needs structure, security and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. He craves acceptance and is eager to please. He does what he is expected to do. Hadley will give him the love and attention. Since he is self-disciplined, her lack of enforcement won’t matter much. Nevada follows the rules if fair and reasonable. He speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules. Hadley isn’t consistent with rules and punishments and Nevada will find that very unfair. He could turn against Hadley for letting him down. He becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. While Hadley is easy with an “I love you,” she might not understand what he needs. She will insist she loves him and she doesn’t understand why he isn’t feeling it. Nevada struggles to conform to new situations which Hadley enjoys. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. He could become rebellious or subversive and Hadley will be at a loss as to how to handle that.
HADLEY/ARDEN
Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. He is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. Hadley will likely provide him plenty of opportunities to learn and experience things. Arden isn’t a snuggler and will quickly leave her lap. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. He wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Hadley will be eager to show off her impressive child. Arden can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Hadley is poor at enforcing rules and wants to be his friend. Arden could grow out of control easily and Hadley won’t be able to put on the brakes. He could secretly despise her and manipulate her the rest of their lives.
HADLEY/BLAIR
Blair needs love and nurturing which Hadley will provide. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, which seems contradictory to other people.Hadley isn’t the most stable base but will provide lots of opportunities to for Blair to flit. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. She makes special gifts. Hadley will be delighted with this easy child. She will try to push Blair to be more social. One issue that will cause trouble is if Hadley makes life too turbulent. Blair will rebel if restricted and resists change. It is one thing to be free to flit, another to not have a safety net. It could set the stage for a tragedy.
HADLEY/ DALLAS
Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. Hadley may find her a bit of a handful. Dallas is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled. Hadley isn’t good with boundaries and enforcing rules. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. Hadley won’t make her finish anything and will make excuses and this will be a problem with school. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. If unchecked, she becomes a very wild child. In that regard, Hadley could allow her to get out of control. They could escalate each other in negative ways. Dallas could easily control Hadley turning the dynamic around so that the child rules the roost. This could carry on through adulthood.
HADLEY/HADLEY
Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. A Hadley/Hadley paring would appear to be a good one. But since Parent Hadley isn’t consistent, she could make child Hadley anxious and fretful. Child Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Parent Hadley won’t make her finish anything. This can be a problem at school. Parent Hadley will make excuses for her child. Child Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. She is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. Depending on how turbulent Parent Hadley makes her own life, it will have an impact on Child Hadley. They could end up the best of friends, or have friction because they are too much alike, each blaming the other for not being enough.
HADLEY/ SHELBY
Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when Hadley likes to show her off. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Hadley will be baffled by this child. She wants to be Shelby’s friend not the enforcer. Shelby isn’t outgoing or outlandish. Hadley can be overly social and pushy. She wants Shelby to project her idea of what a child should be. Shelby will be too withdrawn for her taste. Shelby won’t appreciate Hadley’s inability to take care of business either. It will make her feel very insecure. They could point the finger at each other every time something doesn’t get done. Shelby is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. She turns her pain inward. Hadley might not notice as her child drifts away. The relationship could be fairly benign or they could have a lifetime of misunderstandings and squabbling.
HADLEY/JOSS
Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” Hadley isn’t a disciplinarian. She might be too emotional for Joss. Joss grows bored when options are limited. Hadley will supply lots of options. She wants him to have a good time. Joss likes to takes things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Hadley will struggle with making Joss do what he needs to do. She will blame the school. She wants to be his pal. She wants Joss to love her unconditionally. Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control and Hadley could create a chaotic life. Joss could be a favorite child and she could over-indulge him. He will easily manipulate her, creating a doting but clueless parent and a daring, dangerous child.
HADLEY/KELLY
Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. He transplants easily. Hadley will probably find this child amusing but exhausting. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. Since Hadley wants to be his friend, she may participate in the party Kelly creates everywhere he goes. Kelly needs firm hand, not an iron fist. He won't abide by rules or conform and Hadley can’t enforce rules. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Kelly can wrap Hadley around his finger, making her think they are friends. Kelly could secretly despise her or magnify the mess Hadley can make out of their life. Kelly will make an opportunity out of anything. They could both be trouble.
HADLEY/GREER
Greer is happy, easygoing, and likes to explore. He prefers to play alone and asks odd, challenging questions. He enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Hadley is more outgoing and may try to push him out of his comfort zone. Greer isn’t interested in being fussed over or being the center of attention. Hadley could easily overwhelm him. Greer can't handle emotionally gooey parents and Hadley can be overly affectionate. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard. Since Greer really doesn’t value the same things as Handley they have lots of room for misunderstandings. Greer can't handle chaos. He needs routine and safety and Hadley isn’t good at those things. Their relationship could be full of mild frustration or grow to outright loathing depending on how outlandish Hadley is and how resentful Greer is. Greer may leave home and try to ignore her. She may keep butting in to get the attention and adoration she craves.
HADLEY/TAYLOR
Taylor is peaceful and needs calm. Hadley’s unpredictability and lack of responsibility could make Taylor anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She wants Hadley to approve of her and like her. And Hadley may. Taylor takes charge of the playroom and siblings. She may have to take control of the household to get things done. Hadley might not appreciate the implied criticism and retaliate. Taylor will be hurt if her efforts aren’t appreciated. She overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. But Hadley is more likely to push her to go further. Hadley’s inability to set boundaries and her desire to be Taylor’s friend can allow Taylor to spiral out of control. It could be a very unhealthy dynamic with reversed roles and unspoken resentments on both sides. Taylor will blame Hadley for not noticing she was struggling and needed help. Hadley will deny anything is her fault and she did the best she could and should be appreciated for it all she sacrificed to give Taylor a good life.
HADLEY/CAM
Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. For Hadley, he is an easy baby because he doesn’t really challenge her. She will be fondly affectionate. Cam might not return the emotion. Cam develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. Hadley might find that insulting. She is in the right. He needs to conform. If Hadley is chaotic or highly dysfunctional, she will push Cam further inside his shell. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make adults squirm. Hadley wants him to lighten up and not be so serious. She wants a friend. Cam wants a secure nest and to be left alone to pursue his interests. Neither will get what they need. Cam is self-regulating and responsible, so isn’t likely to cause many problems. However, Hadley’s pushing will make Cam further withdraw. They won’t be enemies necessarily, but they won’t be buddies either. Cam could even intimidate Hadley because he is so much more efficient and responsible than she is.
HADLEY/ MORGAN
Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Hadley will take that all in stride. She will be affectionate and not terribly controlling. Rules are suggestion. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He is irritated when he doesn’t get his way. He could easily wrap Hadley around his finger. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan is outgoing and can be a clown. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. Hadley will encourage his social life. She will encourage him to appreciate the finer things in life. Morgan could easily manipulate Hadley, on the one hand becoming her favorite child and on the other getting away with murder while she isn’t paying attention. But both will eventually find out there are consequences.
HADLEY/ LEE
Lee is a high-demand baby and proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She screams until Hadley pays attention to her. Hadley is free with her affections but isn’t so good at making sure Lee has everything she needs. Lee knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. Hadley's different plans and goals for Lee are met with stubborn resistance. Hadley is more interested in being Lee’s friend which will probably earn her Lee’s contempt. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. Lee is likely to be the queen bee in their home and how neurotic Hadley is will determine the tension level. Hadley could just let Lee do her thing as long as she isn’t causing Hadley too many problems. It’s not a given they could be best friends, at most uneasy allies. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers, she scares them a little. Hadley may find Lee more than she can handle and respond by flitting off to do her own thing. The distance between them could grow until their relationship snaps. Or Lee can become intolerant of Hadley’s lack of follow-through and commitment and turn on her.
HADLEY/RIVER
River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. Hadley will be affectionate and glad that River doesn’t require much. River needs peace and quiet to thrive and Hadley might be too high octane for her. River lives in a dream world most of the time. Hadley will have to drag River kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River prefers to have one or two friends and won’t be happy trying to live up to Hadley’s social expectations. River’s emotional skin is thin and Hadley’s attempts to mold her into her own image will leave River with anxiety and low self-esteem. River sees the world as naturally treacherous. Hadley will do little to alleviate her fears. River hates violence and discord. She needs peace and continuity. River won’t understand Hadley’s attempts to be best friends. They aren’t really that compatible. Hadley will continue to try to pull River into her orbit and River will balk. They will probably never really understand each other. It could be a low drama relationship with quiet tensions. It depends on how erratic Hadley is and how much damage she does to River’s emotional well-being.
Next week, we will introduce SHELBY.
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