In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.
Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.
The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver.
This post will focus on the mannequin DALLAS.
Dallas is highly social and throws lavish parties. She has a constant need for stimulation that frightens an introvert. She is affectionate, generous with praise, and “I love you”,” but is inconsistent. She will allow her children to try everything but won’t make them finish anything. Her effusiveness embarrasses a reserved child. She wants everything to be perfect. She makes last minute changes to the plans and schedules. She is terrible at enforcing rules. She crosses the line to be liked and wants to be her children’s friend, not their drill instructor. She relies on her partner to play bad cop. She hates conflict and takes criticism personally. She is passive aggressive when anxious. She is more interesting in blaming than fixing. Dallas is naturally drawn to River, Shelby, and Taylor. Her opposite is Francis.
DALLAS/WYNN
Dallas is easy to please and seeks approval. She needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. Dallas is the opposite of what when needs. Dallas can’t handle suffocating attention or inconsistent rules. She hates being punished for something she didn't do. If stressed, she suffers silently. Dallas will try to push Wynn past her comfort zone. Dallas isn’t a disciplinarian which could leave Wynn feeling insecure. Dallas’s passive aggressiveness could become abusive. Wynn is likely to disappear into anxiety and depression, feeling like she could never live up to Dallas’s expectations. While Wynn isn't a problem child, she isn't anything like Dallas either. They won't have much in common.
DALLAS/ FRANCIS
Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. Dallas is a nightmare for him. Francis clings to close friends. He struggles with overly emotional people. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. He likes group events where he can show off his competence. Dallas will enjoy showing him off and putting him in the spotlight. If his competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. Dallas is going to push him in uncomfortable ways. Francis will become rigid and withdrawn. He could turn into a bully, finding ways to subvert and punish Dallas for not being what he needs. He could easily turn against her entirely and cut her from his life for disappointing him. Dallas will be hurt by his turning against her.
DALLAS/NEVADA
Nevada needs structure, security and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. He craves acceptance and is eager to please. Dallas’s attention may be too much and her inconsistency will make him clingy. He struggles to conform to new situations and Dallas thrives on change. Nevada does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable and speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules and Dallas doesn’t believe in rules. She sets no clear expectations. Nevada becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. Dallas’s praise isn’t consistent. It doesn’t fit the actions, leaving Nevada confused. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. Nevada could become a self-regulating child that simply works apart from Dallas to have the life he needs. Depends on his other caregivers. Nevada is likely to turn against Dallas for not being flaky and unreliable. He could disapprove of her his entire life and she will be hurt by his criticism.
DALLAS/ARDEN
Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. He is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. Dallas will provide the exciting environment he needs to thrive. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting to most parents but not Dallas. They could press each other into outrageous behavior. Arden wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. He can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Dallas is a good match for Arden. She will like showing him off, her good boy. Both thrive on change and stimulation. Dallas will try to be his best buddy and that can lead to Arden getting away with too much, until the law catches up. They would be a perfect parent/child crime duo.
DALLAS/BLAIR
Blair needs love and nurturing. Dallas being inattentive and busy makes feel lost. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, and Dallas provides quicksand. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. Dallas won’t understand this dreamy loner and will attempt to push her past her comfort zone. Blair will resent her for it. Blair is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. She makes special gifts. Dallas may appreciate them, or not, depends on the day. Blair rebels if restricted and resists change and Dallas thrives on change. Dallas has the potential to be extremely damaging to Blair. Blair could either withdraw and become depressed or become so angry at being let down that she leaves home and doesn’t look back.
DALLAS/ DALLAS
Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. She is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled. Parent Dallas sees rules as suggestions and doesn’t enforce them anyway. Child Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Parent and child Dallas could vie for dominance in the home. It could become a game of who gets away with more and paybacks. Child Dallas’s attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Parent Dallas won’t mind that and will make excuses for her child. Child Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to and Parent Dallas is just as bad. She can’t take care of her own stuff. Parent Dallas has a child just like her and it could go two ways. They could appreciate and drive each other to even more outrageous behavior or both spiral into mutual self-destruction or at least a life of co-dependence.
DALLAS/ HADLEY
Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Dallas will make her anxious and fretful. Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. So does Dallas, so nothing may ever get done be it homework or housework. Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. Dallas isn’t intentionally controlling but she could carelessly demean Hadley. Hadley is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. She may come to resent Dallas’s need for change and desire to shake things up. Hadley will likely recover and manage the changes. On the downside, Hadley might feel a little lost and look for guidance outside the home. On the upside they could muddle along together, never really achieving much.
DALLAS/ SHELBY
Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. Dallas provides the opposite. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. Dallas won't understand her. Why is she such a bore? Shelby hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Dallas is likely to criticize her often. Shelby turns her pain inward and Dallas probably won’t notice. As Dallas goes about her whirlwind ways, Shelby will keep retreating. She could retreat from the home or retreat from life. She won't tolerate Dallas's expectations or interference after she leaves home. Dallas could prove to be a problem parent Shelby’s whole life.
DALLAS/ JOSS
Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” Dallas is horrible at making rules and is inconsistent with punishments. He grows bored when options are limited and Dallas supplies lots of outlets. Joss likes to take things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Dallas will blame the school and teachers for his bad grades and poor behavior. Josh could spiral out of control since Dallas isn’t there to ground him. The two of them could negatively influence one another. Joss could resent Dallas for being lacking as a parent. He won’t hesitate to let her know it. They could have a lifetime of recriminations and blame with nothing ever being resolved.
DALLAS/KELLY
Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. Dallas isn't consistent. Kelly transplants easily. Dallas will appreciate this about her child. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. He won't abide by rules or conform. Dallas doesn’t like rules or conformity either, so they will likely feed each other that way. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs a firm hand, not an iron fist and Dallas is neither. She may indulge Kelly too far. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and becomes a bully. He will likely run rings around Dallas and find her an easy target. Dallas will never hold him accountable. Kelly is likely to secretly, or openly, despise her, a dynamic that will last their whole lives. Dallas could easily be an enabling parent who never holds Kelly accountable.
DALLAS/GREER
Greer is happy and easygoing, and likes to explore. He prefers to play alone and can't handle chaos. He needs routine and safety, which Dallas doesn’t provide. Greer asks odd challenging questions and enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Dallas won’t understand this. She will try to push him to do more, make friends, go places. Greer isn’t interested in being fussed over or the center of attention. He is easily suffocated and can't handle emotionally gooey parents. Dallas is play, fun, energizing, and just the opposite of what he wants. Greer may start to doubt himself and take her criticism of him hard. He will never feel he can please Dallas. This could seriously harm his self-esteem. Alternatively, he could decide she isn’t worth his time and turn away from her entirely. They aren't likely to end up with a close relationship.
DALLAS/TAYLOR
Taylor needs peace and calm. Dallas being chaotic and unpredictable makes her anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She will try really hard to please Dallas, who may or may not notice. Taylor takes charge of playroom and siblings. She may take charge of the home since Dallas isn’t likely to. Taylor is hurt if she senses disapproval or if her efforts are rejected. Dallas isn’t likely to appreciate Taylor’s attempts to create order. Taylor can overextend herself by trying to play with everyone. Dallas won’t be the one to rein her in. Taylor could end up burned out early trying to do too much at home and at school. Dallas is likely to push Taylor to spiral out of control. They could become horribly entangled if Dallas is seriously out of control as a parent, irresponsible with money, or involved with chemicals or alcohol. Taylor would feel responsible for Dallas. They could be codependent forever. It will take outside influence to convince Taylor she isn’t the one who has to fix everything. Dallas may always need fixing or really resent that Taylor thinks she needs fixing.
DALLAS/CAM
Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. Dallas being chaotic or highly dysfunctional could push him further inside his shell. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make most adults squirm. He develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. Dallas might find him funny and agree that they should just throw convention out the window. Cam, luckily, is self-regulating and responsible. One of them has to be. Cam withdraws to protect. Dallas is likely to be too inconsistent for Cam. As Cam withdraws, she might try to pull him out of his shell even harder. They are likely to misunderstand each other the rest of their lives. The dynamic could cause a permanent split.
DALLAS/ MORGAN
Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Luckily, Dallas doesn’t. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He could easily run rings around Dallas. She could encourage him to be outrageous. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. Dallas will likely support him in those endeavors. Morgan’s penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan is outgoing. Morgan doesn’t like group activities and if pressed wants to orchestrate things, assign roles, and oversee the progress. He becomes irritated when he doesn't get his way. He can be a clown. Dallas will likely cheer him on as he creates chaos. She isn’t in charge so Morgan will likely become the dominant personality. Morgan may soon find Dallas completely inconsequential. They aren’t likely to clash too much. Rather they are both on different trajectories that may or may not meet up from time to time.
DALLAS/ LEE
Lee is a high-demand baby. She will scream until Dallas pays attention to her. She proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. Luckily Dallas is likely to go along with whatever Lee wants. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. Dallas won't know what to make of her focused, ambition child. Lee is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. She will probably end up running Dallas as well. Lee will take over and make life what she wants it to be and Dallas is just a tool in her arsenal. Lee will despise Dallas’s inconsistency. Their dynamic is likely to reverse with Lee the parent and Dallas the child. Lee could be the successful child and Dallas will always be the inferior parent who can't get her act together.
DALLAS/RIVER
River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. Dallas is the opposite of what she needs. River lives in a dream world most of the time. Dallas will attempt to drag her kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River one or two friends and her emotional skin is thin. She sees the world as treacherous and trust is vital. She won’t be able to trust Dallas. River hates violence and discord. Dallas's inconsistency and irresponsibility will make River feel very unsafe. River will withdraw to protect herself from the chaos. These two will probably never understand one another. Dallas could push River into depression and anxiety. River could leave home and never look back. She could be at risk of Dallas intruding into her life and Dallas will be completely unaware of the problems she creates. They are opposites in their approach to life.
If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the
