16 Parents and Children Joss

In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver. 

This post will focus on the mannequin JOSS.

Joss is flexible and easy-going as a parent. He hates being controlled and isn't interested in controlling his children. He is emotionally reserved but likes to show off. He can be a hero, a jokester, or a reckless criminal. He wants his children to have a good time, but his high octane pursuits might not be fun for them. Joss ignores bad behavior. He can be just as bad as they are. Joss doesn’t do routine or chores. He admires physical prowess and encourages risk taking. He does not praise or offer loving affirmations. Joss is unconventional and doesn’t care if his children conform. He doesn’t offer his opinion and expects his children to police themselves and solve their own problems. He can administer discipline but he normally laughs at their shenanigans. He avoids confrontation until they violate a core value and he punishes with cutting criticism. Natural matches: Joss communicates best with Joss, Greer, Kelly, Blair, and Francis. He argues most with Taylor.

JOSS/WYNN

Wynn is an easy child. She seeks approval and needs a secure routine with clear consistent rules. She won’t get that with Joss. His inconsistent rules and cutting criticism will hurt her deeply and make her anxious. When stressed, Wynn suffers silently and Joss won’t notice. This is a pretty disastrous pairing for Wynn. He is likely to make her life turbulent and cut her in a thousand tiny ways for not being the brave outgoing child he likes hanging out with. Joss could easily become an absent parent who doesn’t understand this child and doesn’t seek them out for a relationship.

JOSS/FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. Joss will be a nightmare parent. Francis likes to show off his competence but it might not be in ways Joss respects. Francis may feel he never measures up to his inconsistent father and it can result in low self-esteem. Francis becomes more rigid the more chaotic life becomes. He will turn against Joss easily. Joss will dislike this judgmental kid. Francis can be an enforcer type. Joss could easily tip the scale for Francis to become a bully or the downfall of Joss’s criminal enterprise.

JOSS/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security, and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. He craves acceptance and is eager to please. Joss will not like the clinging. Nevada will feel rejected. Nevada becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks and Joss doesn’t believe in praise. Nevada does what is expected and follows the rules if they are fair and reasonable. Joss probably won’t be fair or reasonable. Nevada will argue with Joss over everything. He is likely to resent Joss’s inconsistency and turn against Joss. They could end up loathing each other. Nevada can become just as hard to control as Joss in the right circumstances. Nevada could be the weak link in Joss’s family, but one who can do the most damage.

JOSS/ARDEN

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting for most parents but Joss isn’t most parents. Arden grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities and Joss will provide plenty of opportunity. They could become best buddies. Arden likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. The two of them will likely make each more outrageous. Arden wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. He can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. The two can grow close over their various interests. Both are likely to be on the irresponsible side. Joss likely won’t give Arden the praise he needs. That could become a point of contention.

JOSS/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing. Joss being an absent, inattentive, or busy caregiver makes her feel lost. She needs a solid foundation from which to flit and Joss isn’t it. Blair resists change. She is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. Joss is off doing work, hobbies, or going on adventures. He won’t give Blair much of anything she needs. He won’t give her the affection or praise she needs. Joss will try to push her out of her comfort zone and she will resent him for it. Blair may be confused on the rare occasions Joss notices her. She won’t trust him and will probably get away from him as soon as possible. That partially depends on the other caregivers involved.

JOSS/ DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. She is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled and Joss is likely to encourage her to be more outrageous. Both of them thrive on adventure and trying new things. Joss will like this child. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Neither does Joss and he will support her subversiveness. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. If unchecked, and Joss won’t corral her, she becomes a very wild child. Dallas is likely to be a part of whatever game Joss has going. If he is a ganster, she is his lieutenant. Neither will be highly successful because they aren’t going to stick with anything long enough to gain prowess.

JOSS/ HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Joss is busy and aggressive and will make her anxious and fretful. Hadley can be agreeable and enthusiastic, but she isn’t the wild card Joss is. They share a desire to try everything once. Hadley quickly drops out and both move on to the next challenge. Dallas wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. Josh is only critical when a deep value has been violated. They should muddle along fairly well. Joss will enjoy Hadley’s willingness to try things. Since Hadley is easily led, Joss will be the one to push her and cheer her on. Hadley hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. Joss could make their lives turbulent. They could move frequently, forcing Hadley to keep starting over. They will probably muddle along together, though Hadley will not get the attention she needs. She may act out to try to get what she needs from Joss.

JOSS/ SHELBY

Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. Joss will be the opposite of what she needs. Joss tends to be on the move and will find ways to avoid being in charge of her. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Joss will find her boring. Shelby won’t join in his endeavors or fun. As Josh becomes absent, Shelby turns her pain inward. She is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. Shelby could end up being raised by a single parent, relative, or nanny, leaving her feeling abandoned and in need of a replacement parent figure.

JOSS/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. A Joss/Joss pairing is usually successful. They are likely to be found trying things and going on adventures together. Both like to take things apart to see how they work. They can both get lost in hobbies. Child Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Parent Joss will agree with his child and find the school to be the problem. Parent Joss could even encourage child Joss to leave school and learn from the school of life. They could push each other to bigger challenges. Both try harder to control their world if it spirals out of control. And given their temperaments, losing is control is a serious option. They can be lifelong buddies, never really doing harm. Or, they could be a parent child crime ring.

JOSS/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. He transplants easily. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. Joss is likely to provide the stimulation Kelly craves. Kelly doesn’t abide by rules or conform and neither does Joss. Kelly finds an ally in this parent. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs firm hand, not an iron fist. Joss isn’t a firm hand. They are both likely to make mistakes that can be life altering. Kelly learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Kelly could become more outrageous than Joss. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. They could be best buddies if more moderate. Or they could have a grudge match to the death in a test of wills.

JOSS/GREER

Greer is easy-going and likes to explore. He happily plays alone. He is curious and asks odd challenging questions. They might bond over this. Greer enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Joss likes tinkering himself. Whereas Greer likes to become proficient, Joss will lose interest and move on. Greer is not interested in being fussed over or the center of attention. Joss appreciates self-regulating Greer. Though, Greer can't handle chaos and needs routine and safety. Josh’s natural chaotic tendencies will make Greer feel unsafe. Joss won’t understand this quiet thinker. Greer won’t be up for Joss’s shenanigans. Joss could make Greer doubt himself and Greer takes criticism hard. Greer might take Joss’s attempts to pull him in to his world as criticism. There is potential for finding some common ground with this pairing. If you push them in opposite directions, they may break all bonds or at least have a lifetime of misunderstanding.

 JOSS/TAYLOR

Taylor needs peace and needs calm. Chaotic and unpredictable Joss makes her anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She will work hard to please adventurous Joss though he is scant with praise. It can make Taylor insecure. Taylor takes charge of playroom and siblings. She could either wrap Joss around her little finger or they could vie for dominance. Taylor is hurt by disapproval or if her efforts are rejected. That could easily happen with Joss. Taylor overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Joss is likely to push her to ever greater antics. If Joss is busy and distant, Taylor could easily spiral out of control. They could find themselves on the same side or be in opposition. Taylor will be a vindictive opponent.

JOSS/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. Cam might not consider chaotic busy Joss to be “good.” Joss will appreciate self-regulating Cam. A chaotic or highly dysfunctional family pushes Cam further inside his shell. He spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make adults squirm. Joss will be relieved that Cam doesn’t ask for much of him but he will find this quite thinker odd. The more outrageous Joss is, the more Cam will withdraw to protect. Joss could lose contact with Cam entirely. Cam develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. Cam would probably turn Joss in for breaking the law.

JOSS/MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Morgan can be a clown. Joss might enjoy this fun-loving kid. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. Joss and Morgan could end up thick as thieves. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan and Joss share this quality. They could explore the world or hobbies together. Morgan is outgoing. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. Morgan is irritated when he doesn't get his way. This pairing is likely to go well unless they find themselves on opposite sides. They could be lifelong best friends. But if one turns against the other, it will be an interesting battle of wit and will.

JOSS/LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed Joss, she screams until someone pays attention to her. Lee exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. Clashes are ahead for Joss and Lee. Lee can be stubbornly resistant to instructions. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. There could be a battle for dominance with these two. If Lee violates Joss’s core value, there could be war. Joss will be cutting and critical and Lee will plan his downfall.

JOSS/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. Busy, aggressive, and outgoing Joss will make her cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. She lives in a dream world most of the time. Joss may try dragging her kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. They are opposites. River has one or two friends. Her emotional skin is thin. The world is treacherous and trust is vital. Joss’s natural chaotic approach to life will make her feel more insecure and less trusting. River hates violence and discord. She needs peace and continuity. While she won’t openly go to war with Joss, she will quietly slip away and Joss won’t understand where he went wrong or how a child could be so different. She will resent that Joss didn’t provide her with a safe, nurturing home life. She will go looking for safety elsewhere.

Next week, we will introduce KELLY.

If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the Story Building Blocks website for free tools and forms.

You can follow new posts on this topic on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/storybuildingblocks or opt for an email through follow.it.

You can get more insight into character development by picking up a copy of  Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict or the fill-in the blank Build A Cast Workbook.

As always, if you find this information useful, hit the like button and share.

16 Parents and Children Shelby

In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver. 

This post will focus on the mannequin Shelby.

Shelby is nurturing, emotionally guarded, patient, devoted, and flexible. She enforces her values and wants respect. She is generous with loving affirmations. She may give too much freedom to a child who needs structure. She blames herself for bad behavior. She wants to be good cop. She fiercely defends children against outsiders and overlooks their indiscretions until she can't. If she can't connect with children, she may leave emotionally or physically. She cannot handle a wild child. She gets along best with Shelby, Blair, Greer, River, and Dallas. She argues most with Arden.

SHELBY/WYNN

Shelby is easy to please and seeks approval. Shelby is nurturing but perhaps not approving enough. Wynn needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. Shelby isn’t consistent and may not provide enough structure. Wynn hates being punished for something she didn’t do and Shelby blames herself for mistakes and that will be internalized too. Misunderstandings are likely here. Wynn will have to live with uncertainty and that will make her anxious. It’s not the worst pairing. They may muddle along together never understanding how they let the other one down.

SHELBY/FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. Shelby isn’t the most consistent parent. This could make Francis fretful, perhaps belligerent. He struggles with overly emotional people and may shrug off Shelby’s affectionate ways. Francis is not comfortable with new people or situations. He clings to close friends. Shelby is more social and may push him too far. Francis likes group events where he can show off his competence. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. If his competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. As long as Shelby shows interest and approval of Francis’s endeavors, it will be okay. However, Francis becomes rigid in the face of uncertainty and could be a bully. Shelby could find herself with a bully and blame herself for it. Francis may reject Shelby’s emotional overtures. It could be a dysfunctional dynamic.

SHELBY/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security, and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. Shelby is happy to lavish him with affection. He struggles to conform to new situations and Shelby’s lifestyle could prove too stressful. Nevada craves acceptance and is eager to please.

He does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable. He speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules. Shelby may not provide consistent rules. Nevada will turn against his parents if they let him down. He becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. Shelby won’t understand the disconnect. Doesn’t she love him enough? Why is he turning on her? 

SHELBY/ARDEN

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. Shelby is likely to provide the fun and frivolity. Arden isn’t a snuggler. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. Shelby won’t understand why he pushes her away. She wants physical affection in return. Arden is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. He wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Shelby will be tolerant of his efforts as long as they don’t go against her personal preferences. Arden can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Shelby will blame herself for his Hijinks and will try to cover for him. Whether they end up appreciating each other or not is up for grabs. Depends on how far you push the level of intensity of their traits and how tumultuous Shelby makes their lives.

SHELBY/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. Shelby will give her the affection she needs. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, which could be a challenge for Shelby who can be inconsistent. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She rebels if restricted and resists change. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. Shelby is more social. She can be inconsistent, even tumultuous. Blair is likely to retreat as Shelby attempts to pull Blair into her world. They may not agree on values. Blair will be the intellectual loner and Shelby will be the outgoing activist devoted her causes. It could be a way to drive a wedge between them.

SHELBY/DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. Shelby will be hurt by her rejection. Dallas is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled. Shelby isn’t the best with boundaries or consistency. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. Both Dallas and Shelby can be inconsistent, leading them to blame each other when the ball gets dropped. If unchecked, Dallas becomes a very wild child. If too suppressed, she rebels. It could be a clash of the Titans if they have differences in values and opinions.

SHELBY/HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Shelby will give her that. Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Shelby won’t make her finish either. Their joint lack of follow-through can cause serious issues. Shelby will doubt herself but outwardly defend her child. Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. So if Hadley follows along with Shelby’s belief system, they could be mutually supportive. Hadley is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. If Hadley is led off to a different path than her parent expects, sparks could fly.

SHELBY/SHELBY

Child Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. Child Shelby cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. As a parent, Shelby tends to be affectionate if not consistent. Child Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Both parent and child turn their pain inward. She is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. A Shelby/Shelby combination could lead to a really tight friendship as long as they both believe in the same things.

SHELBY/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. He could prove a challenge to Shelby. Joss takes things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Shelby was never good with those things either and will make excuses for him. Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control. Shelby isn’t always consistent which could create turmoil in the relationship. Depending on the types of things that catch Joss’s fancy. Shelby expects her children to be like her and follow her example. Joss could very well go the complete opposite direction.

SHELBY/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. He transplants easily. Kelly tends to run rings around most parents and Shelby won’t be an exception. She will find him challenging because Kelly won't abide by rules or conform. He collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. He needs firm hand, not an iron fist. Shelby doesn’t have a firm hand. He will most likely make her life difficult. She will blame herself for his behavior. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. He will run right over Shelby.

SHELBY/GREER

Greer is happy, easy going, likes to explore. He can't handle chaos and needs routine and safety. He plays happily alone and is a comfortable child for Shelby to raise. Greer asks odd challenging questions and enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Shelby might not appreciate being questioned. She hasn’t considered her positions too carefully or deeply. Greer is not interested in being fussed over or the center of attention and can be easily suffocated. Shelby can be too affectionate. She may want to push him to be more social and socially acceptable. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard. Shelby could go either way with Greer. Shelby can appreciate him as a quiet well-behaved, if slightly odd, child. Or Greer could challenge her belief systems too vigorously. She will not appreciate the debate.

SHELBY/TAYLOR

Taylor needs calm. Chaotic and unpredictable caregivers make her anxious. Shelby is affectionate but not always consistent. She could create some anxiety. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She wants to please Shelby. Shelby will capitalize on that. Taylor takes charge of the playroom and siblings. Taylor could question Shelby’s leadership and that will lead to friction. If Shelby expresses disapproval or rejects Taylor’s attempts to put herself forward, they could end up hurting each other. Taylor overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Shelby doesn’t like being bad cop and will force the other caregivers to take charge of that. This could make Taylor spiral out of control.

SHELBY/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. Shelby will be relieved that he is an easy child. Shelby is affectionate but not always consistent and chaos pushes Cam further into his shell. He spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions will make Shelby squirm. Luckily Cam is self regulating and responsible. He develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. This will be a point of contention for Shelby. She expects her children to accept what she believes as gospel. They are likely to exist in an atmosphere of quiet resentment as both withdraw to protect.

SHELBY/MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Since Shelby expects everything to happen on time and in the right way, she is easily frustrated. Why isn’t her child doing things “right?” Morgan doesn't do group activities and can be a clown. He will try to charm his way out of trouble. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He will get around Shelby easily. She isn’t good at being the firm parent. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan is outgoing. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. He is irritated when he doesn't get his way. Shelby will struggle with this child. He will be too much for her. She will blame herself for not being good enough and will resent his inability to fall in line. He might find her too dull or question everything she believes.

SHELBY/LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed caregivers, she screams until someone pays attention to her. She proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. If Shelby has different plans and goals for Lee, she is met with stubborn resistance. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers like Shelby, she scares them a little. There could be a battle for dominance with Shelby being the parent most likely to back down.

SHELBY/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. A busy, aggressive, or outgoing caregiver makes her cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. Shelby will give her affection and basic care. The problems crop up later. River lives in a dream world most of the time. Shelby would have to drag her kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River has one or two friends. Her emotional skin is thin. She sees the world as treacherous and trust is vital. The problems arise with River’s tendency to be drawn to belief systems of the mysterious, perhaps paranormal. Shelby is more grounded but very invested in her belief system. River will tune out Shelby and go her own way. River hates violence and discord. She needs peace and continuity, so she will be outwardly compliant but withdraw. Shelby could push River even further into whatever mystical or outrageous belief system she is drawn to. Shelby will be lulled into a false sense of victory. If River goes too far off the edge, Shelby isn’t the one to pull her back.

Next week, we will introduce JOSS.

If you want to learn more, you can check out Mastering Character Development and the Story Building Blocks website for free tools and forms.

You can follow new posts on this topic on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/storybuildingblocks or opt for an email through follow.it.

You can get more insight into character development by picking up a copy of  Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict or the fill-in the blank Build A Cast Workbook.

As always, if you find this information useful, hit the like button and share.

16 Parents and Children Hadley

 In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver. 

This post will focus on the mannequin HADLEY.

Hadley is easy going and highly social. She wants every day to be fun. She alarms an introvert. She thrives on harmony and good will. She is warm and affectionate. She showers her children with gifts and loving words. She is hurt if her efforts aren’t appreciated. She encourages her children to try everything but won’t make them finish anything. She makes sure they have the coolest, latest stuff and grows despondent if she can’t afford it. She manages the basic needs at the last minute and just good enough. Routine chores are often forgotten. She takes care of problems as they crop up but becomes erratic when anxious. She needs a partner who can provide structure and discipline. She wants to be her child’s friend not an enforcer. She represses her displeasure until a core value is violated then she blows. She fiercely defends her family against outsiders, but doesn’t hold her children accountable for their behavior.

HADLEY/ WYNN

Wynn is easy to please and seeks approval. She needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. Hadley is affectionate and showers Wynn with gifts and loving words. She gives Wynn the calm haven she needs to thrive. Wynn could find Hadley too suffocating. Wynn can’t handle the inconsistent rules and the lack of boundaries. She will be frustrated that Hadley doesn’t take care of things when she needs her to. Wynn will suffer silently and become anxious and withdrawn. Hadley will keep trying to draw her out. They aren’t the worst pairing, but could push each other away indefinitely.

HADLEY/FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. Hadley isn’t going to provide those things. She can be flaky. He struggles with overly emotional people and Hadley could become suffocating. Francis clings to close friends whereas Hadley pushes him to be popular and outgoing. Francis likes group events where he can show off his competence and Hadley may provide those and be proud of his successes. If Francis’s competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. He becomes rigid in the face of uncertainty and could be a bully. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. Francis could easily become the parent in this pairing. He could spend his whole life having to deal with his parent’s incapacity to run her life efficiently. 

HADLEY/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy. He craves acceptance and is eager to please. He does what he is expected to do. Hadley will give him the love and attention. Since he is self-disciplined, her lack of enforcement won’t matter much. Nevada follows the rules if fair and reasonable. He speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules. Hadley isn’t consistent with rules and punishments and Nevada will find that very unfair. He could turn against Hadley for letting him down. He becomes resentful and angry if he doesn't get the praise he seeks. While Hadley is easy with an “I love you,” she might not understand what he needs. She will insist she loves him and she doesn’t understand why he isn’t feeling it. Nevada struggles to conform to new situations which Hadley enjoys. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. He could become rebellious or subversive and Hadley will be at a loss as to how to handle that.

HADLEY/ARDEN 

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. He is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. Hadley will likely provide him plenty of opportunities to learn and experience things. Arden isn’t a snuggler and will quickly leave her lap. He hates standing still and that can be exhausting. He wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Hadley will be eager to show off her impressive child. Arden can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony. Hadley is poor at enforcing rules and wants to be his friend. Arden could grow out of control easily and Hadley won’t be able to put on the brakes. He could secretly despise her and manipulate her the rest of their lives.

HADLEY/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing which Hadley will provide. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, which seems contradictory to other people.Hadley isn’t the most stable base but will provide lots of opportunities to for Blair to flit. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. She makes special gifts. Hadley will be delighted with this easy child. She will try to push Blair to be more social. One issue that will cause trouble is if Hadley makes life too turbulent. Blair will rebel if restricted and resists change. It is one thing to be free to flit, another to not have a safety net. It could set the stage for a tragedy.

HADLEY/ DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. Hadley may find her a bit of a handful. Dallas is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled. Hadley isn’t good with boundaries and enforcing rules. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. She forgets to do what she is supposed to. Hadley won’t make her finish anything and will make excuses and this will be a problem with school. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. If unchecked, she becomes a very wild child. In that regard, Hadley could allow her to get out of control. They could escalate each other in negative ways. Dallas could easily control Hadley turning the dynamic around so that the child rules the roost. This could carry on through adulthood.

HADLEY/HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. A Hadley/Hadley paring would appear to be a good one. But since Parent Hadley isn’t consistent, she could make child Hadley anxious and fretful. Child Hadley is agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Parent Hadley won’t make her finish anything. This can be a problem at school. Parent Hadley will make excuses for her child. Child Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. She is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. Depending on how turbulent Parent Hadley makes her own life, it will have an impact on Child Hadley. They could end up the best of friends, or have friction because they are too much alike, each blaming the other for not being enough.

HADLEY/ SHELBY

Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement.  She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when Hadley likes to show her off. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Hadley will be baffled by this child. She wants to be Shelby’s friend not the enforcer. Shelby isn’t outgoing or outlandish. Hadley can be overly social and pushy. She wants Shelby to project her idea of what a child should be. Shelby will be too withdrawn for her taste. Shelby won’t appreciate Hadley’s inability to take care of business either. It will make her feel very insecure. They could point the finger at each other every time something doesn’t get done. Shelby is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. She turns her pain inward. Hadley might not notice as her child drifts away. The relationship could be fairly benign or they could have a lifetime of misunderstandings and squabbling.

HADLEY/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” Hadley isn’t a disciplinarian. She might be too emotional for Joss. Joss grows bored when options are limited. Hadley will supply lots of options. She wants him to have a good time. Joss likes to takes things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Hadley will struggle with making Joss do what he needs to do. She will blame the school. She wants to be his pal. She wants Joss to love her unconditionally. Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control and Hadley could create a chaotic life. Joss could be a favorite child and she could over-indulge him. He will easily manipulate her, creating a doting but clueless parent and a daring, dangerous child.

HADLEY/KELLY

Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. He transplants easily. Hadley will probably find this child amusing but exhausting. Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. Since Hadley wants to be his friend, she may participate in the party Kelly creates everywhere he goes. Kelly needs firm hand, not an iron fist. He won't abide by rules or conform and Hadley can’t enforce rules. Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and can become a bully. Kelly can wrap Hadley around his finger, making her think they are friends. Kelly could secretly despise her or magnify the mess Hadley can make out of their life. Kelly will make an opportunity out of anything. They could both be trouble.

HADLEY/GREER

Greer is happy, easygoing, and likes to explore. He prefers to play alone and asks odd, challenging questions. He enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Hadley is more outgoing and may try to push him out of his comfort zone. Greer isn’t interested in being fussed over or being the center of attention. Hadley could easily overwhelm him. Greer can't handle emotionally gooey parents and Hadley can be overly affectionate. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard. Since Greer really doesn’t value the same things as Handley they have lots of room for misunderstandings. Greer can't handle chaos. He needs routine and safety and Hadley isn’t good at those things. Their relationship could be full of mild frustration or grow to outright loathing depending on how outlandish Hadley is and how resentful Greer is. Greer may leave home and try to ignore her. She may keep butting in to get the attention and adoration she craves.

HADLEY/TAYLOR 

Taylor is peaceful and needs calm. Hadley’s unpredictability and lack of responsibility could make Taylor anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She wants Hadley to approve of her and like her. And Hadley may. Taylor takes charge of the playroom and siblings. She may have to take control of the household to get things done. Hadley might not appreciate the implied criticism and retaliate. Taylor will be hurt if her efforts aren’t appreciated. She overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. But Hadley is more likely to push her to go further. Hadley’s inability to set boundaries and her desire to be Taylor’s friend can allow Taylor to spiral out of control. It could be a very unhealthy dynamic with reversed roles and unspoken resentments on both sides. Taylor will blame Hadley for not noticing she was struggling and needed help. Hadley will deny anything is her fault and she did the best she could and should be appreciated for it all she sacrificed to give Taylor a good life.

HADLEY/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. For Hadley, he is an easy baby because he doesn’t really challenge her. She will be fondly affectionate. Cam might not return the emotion.  Cam develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. Hadley might find that insulting. She is in the right. He needs to conform. If Hadley is chaotic or highly dysfunctional, she will push Cam further inside his shell. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make adults squirm. Hadley wants him to lighten up and not be so serious. She wants a friend. Cam wants a secure nest and to be left alone to pursue his interests. Neither will get what they need. Cam is self-regulating and responsible, so isn’t likely to cause many problems. However, Hadley’s pushing will make Cam further withdraw. They won’t be enemies necessarily, but they won’t be buddies either. Cam could even intimidate Hadley because he is so much more efficient and responsible than she is.

HADLEY/ MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Hadley will take that all in stride. She will be affectionate and not terribly controlling. Rules are suggestion. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. He is irritated when he doesn’t get his way. He could easily wrap Hadley around his finger. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan is outgoing and can be a clown. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. Hadley will encourage his social life. She will encourage him to appreciate the finer things in life. Morgan could easily manipulate Hadley, on the one hand becoming her favorite child and on the other getting away with murder while she isn’t paying attention. But both will eventually find out there are consequences.

HADLEY/ LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby and proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She screams until Hadley pays attention to her. Hadley is free with her affections but isn’t so good at making sure Lee has everything she needs. Lee knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. Hadley's different plans and goals for Lee are met with stubborn resistance. Hadley is more interested in being Lee’s friend which will probably earn her Lee’s contempt. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. Lee is likely to be the queen bee in their home and how neurotic Hadley is will determine the tension level. Hadley could just let Lee do her thing as long as she isn’t causing Hadley too many problems. It’s not a given they could be best friends, at most uneasy allies. To caregivers with Lee’s temperament, Lee is the perfect child. To rigid caregivers, she is a pain. To less intrepid caregivers, she scares them a little. Hadley may find Lee more than she can handle and respond by flitting off to do her own thing. The distance between them could grow until their relationship snaps. Or Lee can become intolerant of Hadley’s lack of follow-through and commitment and turn on her.

HADLEY/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. Hadley will be affectionate and glad that River doesn’t require much. River needs peace and quiet to thrive and Hadley might be too high octane for her. River lives in a dream world most of the time. Hadley will have to drag River kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River prefers to have one or two friends and won’t be happy trying to live up to Hadley’s social expectations. River’s emotional skin is thin and Hadley’s attempts to mold her into her own image will leave River with anxiety and low self-esteem. River sees the world as naturally treacherous. Hadley will do little to alleviate her fears. River hates violence and discord. She needs peace and continuity. River won’t understand Hadley’s attempts to be best friends. They aren’t really that compatible. Hadley will continue to try to pull River into her orbit and River will balk. They will probably never really understand each other. It could be a low drama relationship with quiet tensions. It depends on how erratic Hadley is and how much damage she does to River’s emotional well-being.

Next week, we will introduce SHELBY.

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