16 Parents and Children Kelly

 In previous posts, I covered sixteen lovers and sixteen heroes and villains (link below). In the upcoming months, we are going to use the mannequins from Story Building Blocks and do a deep dive on what each character is like as a parent and how they deal with the other characters as children.

Family dynamics, especially parent and child, have a long-lasting impact on how your characters are formed. You don’t have to write a family saga to utilize this insight. It will shape who your character becomes as an adult. It can play a big part in a young adult story world. Even in Science Fiction or Dystopian futures, human traits remain. Childhoods can twist and destroy. A good family can make your hero more lovable and a motivated hero. Mix a character with a good childhood without to give them different world views and definitions of family. Sibling rivalry can be a factor. Who did the parent love more? Who did they connect with? Who did they clash with the most? There are many opportunities to infuse conflict in your plot with parents and children. You can mix parents with different styles. You can craft a complex family dynamic based on their temperaments and needs. As always with any of the traits, you can make them benevolent or malevolent.

The sixteen profiles can be either male or female. I alternated he and she. The character can be a father, mother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, foster family, or other primary caregiver. 

This post will focus on the mannequin KELLY.

Kelly is larger than life and master of the grand gesture, but can’t be counted on. He throws lavish parties and buys lots of gifts they can't afford. He won't care if they clean their room or do their homework. He will more likely to encourage them to be subversive. He rewards cleverness and initiative. Kelly is bored by introverted thinkers. He freely admits he does not have all the answers. He is poor at stating feelings and deflects emotional moments into jokes. He won’t plan ahead or necessarily provide security - financial or otherwise. It's feast or famine. He is not conventional and doesn't expect his children to be. He defends them against outsiders. He can be good in an emergency. If his children anger him, Kelly yells and calls them names to punish. He prefers to be their friend, not the bad cop. His behavior can be worse than his children’s. Self-regulating children end up parenting him. Kelly will violate the values of sober children and a wild child could be his best buddy. Kelly is naturally drawn to Kelly, Morgan, Hadley, Joss, and Arden. His opposite is River.

KELLY/WYNN

Wynn is an easy to please child. She needs clear consistent rules and a secure routine. She won’t get those things from Kelly. Wynn seeks approval and struggles with inconsistent messages. Kelly’s inconsistent whirlwind lifestyle will make Wynn anxious and perhaps a bit lost. Kelly probably won’t appreciate her sober style. He will find her a bit boring. When stressed, Wynn suffers silently and Kelly won’t notice. If Wynn’s pain turns inward, Kelly won’t be there to reassure her and be an anchor. Wynn could resent him for never being there, causing a lifetime rift if not something much worse. They don't have much common ground. The wilder Kelly is, the further away Wynn drifts.

KELLY/FRANCIS

Francis needs order, structure, calm, and a predictable schedule. He is not comfortable with new people or situations. He struggles with overly emotional people. Kelly will be a nightmare for him. Kelly is the life of the party and Francis clings to close friends. Francis likes group events where he can show off his competence. If his competence is questioned frequently, it results in low self-esteem. He is meticulous and puts schoolwork before play. This makes Francis a very dull boy as far as Kelly is concerned. It is possible Kelly won’t respect Francis’s interests or accomplishments. Or if he notices them, he may push Francis too far into the limelight. Francis becomes rigid in the face of uncertainty and could become a bully. Francis is very into rules and he will resent every rule Kelly breaks, which is most of them. Francis could end up parenting himself. He would probably turn a criminal Kelly over to the authorities to get back at him for the hurt Kelly caused. It will lead to a lifetime of Francis disapproving of Kelly.

KELLY/NEVADA

Nevada needs structure, security, and personal attention. If he doesn’t get it, he becomes clingy and Kelly won't provide any of those things. The more Nevada clings, the more Kelly will try to shake him off. Nevada craves acceptance and is eager to please. He struggles to conform to new situations. He does what he is expected to do. He follows the rules if fair and reasonable. He speaks out against unfairness. He is furious when other people break the rules. Kelly breaks all the rules, thus setting up an antagonistic dynamic. Nevada will turn against Kelly for letting him down and not being the stand up guy Nevada expects him to be. Nevada will become resentful and angry because Kelly won’t give him the praise he seeks. He becomes willfully obstinate if violated. They will likely be adversaries. Whether Kelly is just an underperforming adult or a flat out criminal, Nevada is likely to turn against Kelly. A complete break is possible. Nevada would definitely put Kelly behind bars.

KELLY/ARDEN

Arden is an active toddler. He likes to experiment and needs constant activity and change. He grows sullen and depressed if deprived of opportunities. Kelly is the life of the party and will give him plenty of opportunities for adventure. Arden is curious and likes to disassemble things. He is eager to share his findings. Kelly won’t make him put things back together. Arden hates standing still and that will delight Kelly. They are likely to be the best out of control, buddies. Arden wants to impress and wants to earn those trophies and badges. He wants to excel. Kelly is a willing partner in ensuring Arden’s success, even if the methods he uses are questionable. Arden can resort to acting up to get attention or break up the monotony, so can Kelly. They are likely to go off on adventures together, driving the other family members crazy and embarrassing them with their shenanigans. If Kelly is a con artist, Arden is right there with him.

KELLY/BLAIR

Blair needs love and nurturing. Kelly being absent, inattentive, or busy makes her feel lost. Blair needs a solid foundation from which to flit, which Kelly won’t provide. Blair is quiet and plays by herself, inventing her own world. She is artistic and highly sensitive, a daydreamer. She is pleasant and kind and nurturing toward others. She makes special gifts. Kelly will be frustrated by this low key child. She won’t enjoy his outgoing messiness. Blair resists change and Kelly is a tilt-a-whirl, running from one job or challenge to the next. This will make Blair turn even more inward to protect herself. Kelly won’t even notice. As Kelly bounces off to his next adventure, Blair is left alone to cope with a world that feels unsafe. This pairing could be very detrimental to Blair. She could grow up to be very anxious and depressed. She will resent Kelly for not being the parent she needed. Kelly won't react well to her criticisms if she voices them. Kelly won't understand why money and things and adventures weren't enough.

KELLY/DALLAS

Dallas is a restless child. She is suffocated by restrictions or cloying caregivers. She isn’t a cuddler. She is a dangerous loose cannon and will try anything. She needs to be corralled and Kelly will encourage her instead. Dallas is a ringleader of her siblings or in school. Her attention is fleeting. She doesn’t do anything long enough to master it. Kelly will delight in this child. He will embroil her in his shenanigans and encourage her to flout convention. Dallas is more likely to thrive in his household. Dallas hates being stuck at a desk listening to other people talk. Kelly might encourage her to just quit and learn through the university of life. Dallas forgets to do what she is supposed to do and so does Kelly. They will live in messy chaos and enjoy it. If unchecked, Dallas becomes a very wild child and Kelly will be just as wild. Kelly will party with this child, never holding her accountable for anything. The two of them could end up in disastrous circumstances.

KELLY/HADLEY

Hadley is an easy baby. She needs calm, personalized attention. Busy aggressive Kelly makes her anxious and fretful. Hadley is usually agreeable and enthusiastic. She wants to try everything once but quickly drops it. Kelly will appreciate that about her. He will encourage her to try everything. Hadley wants to be seen and heard and offers deep insights. She shuts down in the face of criticism and everything is criticism. Kelly will unwittingly hurt her feelings then charm her out of feeling bad. They could be adventurous together. Kelly will encourage Hadley to act out. Hadley is easily led and hates leaving friends even though her friendships tend to be fluid. As Hadley spins on the merry-go-round that is Kelly’s life, she will learn to adapt on the fly. Neither are likely to have solid, conservative lives. They can feed each other’s worst tendencies.

KELLY/SHELBY

Shelby is a quiet baby with a low threshold for excitement. She needs calm and consistent nurturing. Too much handling, moving around, and chaos make her cranky. She cries to escape the torture when caregivers shake her up and show her off. Kelly is a nightmare for this child. Shelby likes playing by herself, with her toys, or with her imaginary friends. She likes to daydream and doodle. She is reserved around new people and bonds with a best friend. She can be a loner. She hates teams and groups and is highly sensitive to criticism. Kelly will find her boring. He will try to involve her in his shenanigans and she will withdraw and turn her pain inward. If Kelly moves them around a lot, Shelby won’t have the solid base she needs. She will hate leaving her best friend. Shelby will have a lifetime of grief and uncertainty with this parent. They won’t understand each other and that can lead to resentment if not outright hatred. Kelly won't understand the problem and Shelby will hate him for it.

KELLY/JOSS

Joss is a quiet but busy child. He is a fearless daredevil. He accepts structure and concrete rules but needs flexibility. He asks permission but finds a way around it if told “no.” He grows bored when options are limited. Kelly will urge Joss on to greater risks. Since Kelly doesn’t believe in hard fast rules, Joss will become a wild child. Joss likes to take things apart to see how they work, but doesn’t tell anyone what he learns. He gets lost in his hobbies. Joss is a good student, but chafes at rote learning. He gets in trouble for not paying attention or sitting still. Kelly will make excuses for him. Maybe even take him out of the boring institution and they will set off on adventures together. However, Joss tries harder to control his world if it spirals out of control. With Kelly as a parent, Joss's world is likely to spin too fast. When Joss attempts to apply the brakes, Kelly will keep spinning off. They could end up the best of friends or Kelly might push Joss too far for his comfort and he may rein himself in. This could be a source of conflict for this pairing.

KELLY/KELLY

Child Kelly is a freedom-loving, active, and cranky baby. If his caregivers crave a consistent schedule, they are out of luck. He transplants easily. Child Kelly can't sit still and play alone. He craves attention and creates chaos to get it. He won't abide by rules or conform. They are two peas in a pod and their life is likely to be chaotic. Child Kelly collects friends and needs to be on the move. He is a ringleader of mischief. Parent and child Kelly may try to outdo each other or vie for dominance. Child Kelly needs firm hand and Parent Kelly isn’t going to give him that. They are both likely to spiral out of control, either together or in different directions. Child Kelly can be self-destructive if thwarted. He learns how to manipulate early and become a bully. It could be a case of assured mutual self-destruction or both living an unorganized, inconsistent life. If parent Kelly is a mafia boss, child Kelly will be his second in command but might try to overthrow the old guy.

KELLY/GREER

Greer is happy, easy going, and likes to explore. He plays alone and asks odd challenging questions. He enjoys fantasy, mystery, inventing, and thinking. Greer isn’t interested in being fussed over or center of attention. Greer doesn’t have to worry about too much attention or emotional overload from Kelly. However, Kelly will push Greer to explore more. He will delight in playing devil’s advocate just to rile Greer. They can push each other’s buttons or muddle along without serious conflict. Kelly out living the high life with Greer at home happy absorbed in his hobbies. However, Greer can't handle chaos and needs routine and safety, which Kelly won’t provide. Greer doubts himself and takes criticism hard. If Kelly is prone to yelling at him and calling him names, Greer will withdraw and simmer with resentment until he finally blows. This could be the moment their relationship ends.

KELLY/TAYLOR

Taylor needs calm. Chaotic and unpredictable Kelly makes her anxious. Taylor is friendly and values harmony. Pleasing others makes her happy. She will attempt to please the mercurial Kelly. Taylor takes charge of the playroom and siblings. She is hurt if she senses disapproval or if her efforts are rejected. Kelly is likely to do both. He yells and calls her names when angry. Taylor overextends herself by trying to play with everyone and must be reined in. Kelly will push her to even more outrageous limits. He will make the parties bigger, the celebrations more elaborate. An absent or busy Kelly will allow her to spiral out of control. Taylor has the potential to be a successful individual. However, with Kelly as a parent, she is more likely to end up with serious issues. If Kelly is only mildly inept, they could muddle along together. Taylor will resent Kelly for his inability to provide stability and could store up a list of hurts. She might reach a boiling point, letting Kelly know the ways he failed her. Kelly will not respond well which could sever their connection.

 KELLY/CAM

Cam is a quiet, low maintenance child. He won’t ask for anything, even for what he needs. He is good because it’s important to be good not to please others. He expects everyone else to be good too: caregivers, siblings, teachers, and friends. Cam is self-regulating and responsible. He withdraws to protect. He develops his own belief system and does not conform to what others believe. A chaotic or highly dysfunctional Kelly pushes him further inside his shell. Cam will silently raise himself, despising Kelly’s inability to create a stable life. Cam spends a lot of time daydreaming and thinking. His questioning of authority and probing questions make most adults squirm. He may surprise Kelly with his insights. They don’t have a lot of common ground. Cam will resent Kelly and could turn away and tune him out forever. Kelly will find Cam boring and a stick in the mud. Cam would turn Kelly in to the police and he would have the documentation they need to prosecute. Kelly is likely to underestimate Cam.

KELLY/MORGAN

Morgan is a lively baby. He walks, talks, and gets into everything early. He might do them all a little differently. Caregivers who expect everything to happen on time and in the right way are frustrated. Morgan has a lively questioning mind. He takes risks and outwits dim caregivers, teachers, or other authority figures. Kelly will enjoy this little firecracker. They are likely to be best buddies. Morgan likes creative projects and follows his unique interests wherever they lead. His penchant for invention is evident early on. Morgan and Kelly could be an outrageous pair of mad scientists or inventors. Morgan is outgoing. He likes to orchestrate activities, assign roles, and oversee the progress. He is irritated when he doesn't get his way. Morgan will enjoy Kelly’s love of entertaining and they will encourage each other to go bigger. It can result in disaster. Both can be a clown. If Kelly is a mob boss or con man, Morgan is the natural heir. They are likely to be thick as thieves, unless Kelly does something to turn Morgan into a very effective enemy.

KELLY/LEE

Lee is a high-demand baby. If placed with absent or self-absorbed Kelly, she screams until he pays attention to her. Lee proves exhausting to the most attentive caregiver. She knows her own mind from the day she can talk and tells you what she wants and does not want. If Kelly has different plans and goals for her, he is met with stubborn resistance. Lee excels at whatever she chooses to participate in. She is in competition with herself not others, but they might not realize it. She is a leader on the playground and becomes the enemy of anyone who doesn’t follow along. She is the quintessential queen bee. Having an inconsistent parent and a dominating child could make for a very unhealthy dynamic. Lee could become the parent, attempting to reel in flaky Kelly. She may resent his inability to provide the things she needs. He won’t appreciate her criticism or attempts to control, which could push Kelly to be even more outlandish. If Kelly were a mob boss, Lee would take over because she would be a better boss than he could ever be. Mutual respect is unlikely.

KELLY/RIVER

River is a quiet baby. She is content to observe the world. A busy, aggressive, or outgoing Kelly makes her cry. She needs peace and quiet to thrive. She lives in a dream world most of the time. Kelly would have to drag her kicking and screaming to play groups or to the playground. River has one or two friends. She will not enjoy Kelly’s need for constant stimulation and huge parties. River’s emotional skin is thin. The world is treacherous and trust is vital. That is before you add in the inconsistent merry-go-round Kelly. He will push her further inward. River hates violence and discord. She won’t fight with Kelly. She will simply recede until she disappears. Kelly will never understand this almost mystical child. He will be too busy to connect with her and will find her boring. River may end up raising herself and leaving home as soon as she can to find the refuge she needs be it a marriage, a cult, or a religious order.

Next week, we will introduce GREER.

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